Swinging from Broken Branches

Autism Makes Kids Do Weird Stuff

2010-07-16T11:16:00.003-06:00

At least he is talking out of his mouth now! :)

He Said "Hi!"

2010-02-22T16:57:00.005-06:00

I am so excited! Cohen has always had a lot to say, he just never opened his mouth to say it - literally - until now.

He's still "mr. mumbles," but now his sounds have syllables, rhythms, and sometimes you can decipher what he is trying to say. One evening, a few days after Halloween, he went out with his dad and when they came back, I opened the door to a hummed "trick or treat." And a few mornings later, he popped up at the foot of my bed and murmured "Mommy, time to wake u-up!"

And now he is opening his mouth and saying - SAYING!!!! - "hi!" We can actually hear his little boy voice!

Yes!

Sometimes it's the simplest things in life...

Blah!

2010-01-18T15:48:00.002-06:00

Sickness. Strep throat. It's horrible! It won't go away! Agghhh! Four weeks now of cycling strep. Bright red rashes. Everywhere. Puke bucket for Hannah last night. Jenna in rare form. First round of antibiotics a BUST. Test still positive. Cohen - so far so good...

I really want to get back on track, but I can't because kids keep coming home sick - and me, too. I hate being sick. Taught two classes in a row at the gym on Sat and I thought I was going to keel over. Seriously felt my heart beating everywhere and something suspicious rising in my throat... that would have been embarrassing. :-0

I plan on posting a year in review. Lots to share over the past twelve months! Will do it. Really, really soon...

Uh-oh. I hear a little voice calling my name...

Gotta go!

PS. Really missing Aunt Joan right now!!!! :(

Quality Kitchen Time

2009-12-04T17:13:00.002-06:00

So, I was playing kitchen with Hannah a few minutes ago.

While taking my order, she informed me that I could get my own drink from the "drink-a-nator," because it makes drinks in one minute instead of one hundred.

She served me on a beautiful red dirt-devil dustpan.

And she courteously sprayed air freshener for me when the "restaurant" got too stinky from the spit-balls "those silly boys" threw onto the ceiling (with lots of eye rolling...)

Best service I've had in a long time.

:)

Man, I missed blogging!!!

Where did the time go?

2009-02-07T07:45:00.004-06:00

Is it Feb already? Wow.

Time has been flying by and I forgot to post about it. Huh. I hope to keep blogging, but for some reason, it's been hard lately. This is really the only journal I have of what goes on around here, so it has been nice to go back and check dates, look at old pics, etc. To see the pics with the comments is great - kinda like scrapbooking, except that takes time I absolutely do not have now.

We are all doing well. We caught this cold/flu thing, but I think it's flushing itself out of our house. Finally. Craig went to Miami for work for three days and I've been working the night shift at home. Ha.

Cohen has been doing the head movement/vomiting thing still, though it seems to be less often now. He has lost weight. Now he is going through some testing. Two weeks ago, it was MRI with sedation (MRI looks fantastic, by the way!)

Today, we go back to the hosp. to take out a pH probe. Cohen was not a happy camper, waking up from anesthesia yesterday with this tube in his nose and down his throat. The nurse passed him to me, told me to keep his hands away from his nose because they hadn't officially taped the tube down at this point - first, they needed to x-ray it and see if it was positioned correctly. Let me just say, in the off-chance that your child ever needs one of these, that this is SO NOT A GOOD IDEA!!! I haven't even mentioned that he was heaving after every breath, which made the whole maneuver that much harder. Well, I managed to bind his hands, but his head was another story and I kid you not, within a minute of me holding him in my lap, he managed to rub his nose on my arm and work the darn thing out.

I was so upset. I absolutely, face red, hands twitching, breath steaming through my nostrils, could not believe this! I raised my voice, ummm, just a bit, and told the nurse she should never have passed him off to me like that without someone sticking around to help. I refused a repeat. It just wasn't going to happen. I was done. We were done.

Ah, but once I vented, I was okay. Relatively. And the nurse told me she understood... maybe she was just trying to be nice, I don't know, but the point is, Cohen had to go through the whole thing all over again. Awake.

And mad. Very, very mad.

But, after all is said and done (and with a few wrap thingies on his arms to keep his face out of reach) we actually MADE IT THROUGH THE NIGHT! Yay! I definitely had my doubts.

So today is going to be a great day! No pH probe in about, let's see... two and a half hours. Yes!

The countdown begins...

Til later...

A New Symptom? Or Complication?

2009-01-06T06:48:00.007-06:00

I started to post about our Christmas, just haven't finished yet. As with a lot of things this week, it'll have to wait a few days. I want to include pics but they are so darn slllooowww to load. So a quick update instead. For now.

Cohen has had a rough week and a half. We had two visits to the ER last week. We went to the hematologist yesterday only to get a cool IV and IV bag to lug around with us for the rest of the evening. Not fun. At least Cohen only gets one needle stick now that he has the port-a-cath. I put numbing creme on before we go and he mostly gets mad when he's being held down. A lot less pain, a lot simpler. At least one thing is going better for him.

The problem? Cohen has been going through "spells." I bet there's a better word for them, but that's the only one I can come up with right now. His head rolls around on his neck like a bobblehead doll, then snaps back on his shoulders as his chin jerks up to the ceiling. The movements have gotten worse over the past few days, more pronounced, more constant. Last night, they lasted for about an hour before Cohen threw up all over the place. Again. He has thrown up nearly every day since the day after Christmas. This couldn't possibly be self-stimulating behavior, could it? Do these kids actually make themselves sick doing this?

Something tells me the answer doesn't stop there.

We go back to the hematologist this morning, then to the neurologist immediately after. They ran some tests yesterday to check kidney and liver function. We found out yesterday at the hematologist's office that during one trip to the ER, Cohen had a high number of ketones in his urine, which was probably from dehydration, but, well, I don't know... we have been pumping him full of Pedialyte when he can't hold down his food, but now, Cohen will seem fine immediately after he eats (running around, dancing, humming, being a silly boy...) only to get sick a few hours later -- after the head stuff happens. He's lost two pounds already.

The question is this: what is coming first, the nausea or the head movements? And since he can't talk to us, we just don't know. Hopefully, one of the docs today will help us figure this out. But I have a feeling this might lead to yet more tests.

I have to be honest, I was freaking out last night. Just a bit. I love this little guy so much and I just want him to be okay. I'm sure everything will work out. I just wish it didn't take so long.

I will write more later. And post pics too. We really had a great holiday. I hope you did, too!

What is this?

2008-12-29T22:49:00.003-06:00

Home Healing

2008-12-16T07:38:00.010-06:00

We've been home since Saturday. Cohen is doing really well now. As hoped, everything resolved itself. Good thing. If it hadn't gotten better, the doc said we'd have to put a drainage tube in.

Anyways, he's looking good, running around being silly, just a little sore but I guess that's to be expected. He ran a slight temp yesterday, so we will have to keep an eye on that, but otherwise, yay! He's home and happy.

This week is such a crazy week... Christmas time is always hectic, right? Hannah has a Christmas performance at her school tonight. She has a Christmas party on Wed that I volunteered for and dance performances on Wed and Sun. Cohen has his IVIG on Wed. I also need to get the house ready for Craig's family. Not to mention I really wanted to get Christmas Cards and gifts out so people would actually receive them BEFORE Christmas! Oh, well. What happens, happens!

I keep thinking if I had more time, I would go all out like I used to. Maybe make homemade candy. Decorate the house so every single room has Christmas spirit. I might still make some candy. We did get some Christmas shopping done on Sun. And at least we got the tree up, fake as it is. I sure do miss that pine smell. It felt like I was putting up a piece of furniture. Definitely not the same. But... so much better on the allergies. And Cohen.

*Speaking* of Cohen...

Sleepyhead squash-boy in recovery just after surgery.
You can see the Port a cath bump on his left side.
The swelling has gone down since.

Still a little weak, but lookin' better. All hooked up to tethers.

I take these pictures because I plan on showing him someday how strong he was and how much he went through because hopefully, someday, he won't remember he went through any of this at all.

Hopefully, by that someday, he won't even need any of this stuff anymore.

Oh, and something else...

Two weeks ago, Craig had a Christmas Party in Stockton, Calif. His company flew us out for a whirlwind two night stay (the longest I could be away from the kids - a nurse and Aunt Joan took care of them while we were gone). I didn't take many pictures at the party cuz I didn't want to look like a tourist - HA - and they had a professional photographer take pics of all the guests like we were at prom, or something. But you bet I took pics of the family.

While we were in Cali, I got to meet my new nephew.

Isn't he so darn cute? He kept making these funny faces, his mouth yawning open like he was getting ready to speak, then closing in a pursed little O like he changed his mind, his brows furrowing, and at these moments, he looked for all the world like he realized it wasn't worth his time to utter a word, like we were so darn weird he could hardly believe it. Heh.

I am so happy for my brother and his wife.

Later that night, we met up with the proud new dad and big brother for dinner.

Hannah sent cards for everyone - this one was her masterpiece for Cousin Cody.

And below, my parents and my cousin.

Don't we look like we're having fun? Ah, yes. Around this time, my parents actually managed to get the entire wait staff and the other patrons to belt out a rousing rendition of "For She's A Jolly Good Fellow," for our very embarrassed server. Her face was as red as the lobster. She was a good sport though, and part of me thinks she was flattered by all of the attention. At least I hope so... :)

The next day, pre-Christmas party, I went shopping with my Grandma and aunt at the mall. My Grandma struck up a very lively conversation with a cashier who looked like she was ready for a night out on the town - or Bingo? - complete with a wide-brimmed hat and a purple feathered Boa around her neck. As we were walking away, Grandma asked if she had embarrassed me. I shrugged and told her not at all.

My parents had already broken me in the night before :)

This Doesn't Usually Happen, But...

2008-12-12T16:04:00.004-06:00

Leave it to us to be a rare case.

On Wed., I took Cohen to the hematologist's for his monthly hours-long IVIG infusion. The hematologist could not get an IV in. He tells us we need to have a port-a-cath placed in Cohen's chest so that we can access that whenever we need to put something in or take blood out, instead of trying to get an IV in with multiple sticks cuz OUCH, that's one humongous needle... He then schedules the surgery for the next day. What? Tomorrow?

A lot of notice, right?

There wasn't much time to ask a lot of questions, but I did ask what the risks were when the surgeon came over to discuss what would happen when Cohen went back. He never said that the needle could puncture Cohen's vein just above his lung and that blood could leak down, causing a weird sort of bloody pneumonia.

But that's exactly what happened.

So, what was supposed to be an in-and-out surgery has now become a wonderful two-night stay at the hospital. Since I never went home, I was actually still wearing the same clothes at noon when I went to pick Hannah up from school because I didn't have enough time to change when Craig came to switch with me. Ugghhh! Good thing they give you deodorant and toothpaste in those little parent care packs! Can you believe that I then dared to take Hannah to McDonald's to give her some undivided mommy play-time before taking her home? Yes, I did. Grunge and all.

Hopefully, Cohen will be able to come home tomorrow. Please pray for this to all resolve itself. The alternative is not pretty.

I feel so bad for him. He is sore and unhappy, but a trooper! It does not appear as though he is in any big danger, but they are keeping him for observation in case they need to take action. They will do another x-ray tomorrow.

It could be worse. Another poor mom's son had a bleed in his intestines after surgery and was gushing blood out both ends. I think I'd pass out if I saw something like that (turns out he is going to be okay - thank God for blood transfusions!)

Craig and I were supposed to go to a company Christmas party tonight, but plans always seem to change when you have kids, don't they? *sigh* Probably for the best, since the only pair of decent dress slacks I have (and had planned on wearing) lost their hem (screw expensive department stores!) and I just noticed it yesterday. I've only worn them once. Ha.

Besides, if one of my kids is miserable, there's nowhere else I'd rather be -- armed with plenty of hugs and kisses, of course!

I will post more tomorrow...

Another Great Halloween!

2008-11-14T09:30:00.008-06:00

First, there was the trip to the "pumpkin patch" with Hannah's school.

And wee! A hayride!
For like, five minutes.
In the middle of a great big city.

And Halloween cookies...

With messy orange frosting that looked just as good on the pumpkin's face as it did on Hannah's.

Jenna definitely needed some help - did I mention how messy this frosting was?

And then? "Harvest Festival" at Hannah's school. But, this festival was cool with some very old-fashioned, and to some people totally inappropriate, spooky halloweeny things, like stick your hand in the box - if you dare! - and try to guess what's inside. And what was in there? Oh, the horror! The macabre insanity! Body parts! Yipee!

Gummy worms for intestines, hot dog links for fingers, a water-filled latex glove for a heart, an old bone for, well, a bone.

Did I mention that Hannah goes to a private Christian school? Ha.

Halloween just isn't the same anymore, but this came close. I remember when we put together an elaborate haunted house in the basement of my childhood church. In the church! With the evil twisted surgeon, the headless ghost, and-- well, those were the good ol' days.

I just realized I'm actually old enough to have good ol' days. Huh.

And then there was the Halloween parade in our neighborhood. We got the kids all dressed up...

And you may be thinking: Why would you move to Texas and then put your kid in a cowgirl outfit for Halloween?

Hey, it was all her idea. Seriously. Yee-haw.

Believe it or not, there were probably more cowboys in my hometown in California than there are out here. By far.

But she looks so happy, doesn't she?
She actually said she wanted to wear a scarf like Jenna. I love this kid.

And when we picked out a costume for Cohen, we were like, "He HAS to be a pumpkin this year!" "Yeah, that would be so cool!" "Yeah, he will be the cool kid on the block!" "Yeah!" "Yeah, so lets get it!" "Okay, yeah!"

So we did. We got it. Out of all the--
But...
I think he pulled it off. Don't you?
He even loved the hat. I had my doubts.

And Jenna? I think next year, I'll get her a funkier costume, but this year, I indulged her a bit. She loves long skirts and dresses. I think she loves her reflection in them even more.

Jenna, look at mommy! Say cheese!

Sorry, mom. Got more important things to do.

And then off to the parade. With Jenna lagging behind to keep her shadow company :)

Cohen's nurse happened to be on duty for the night, so she got to work really ha--, I mean, have fun with us, too. :)

I can't say the parade turned out quite like we expected.

As the kids showed up, Hannah was pretty happy--

And then more of them showed up, and she wasn't so happy anymore.

This is a picture of her running through the throng of creepy-scary costumes, in complete desperation for her mommy or daddy to protect her.

Daddy, my hero!

She is not the bravest child in the bunch.

We're working on that.

Jenna, on the other hand, was completely unaffected by the commotion. She was off by herself, admiring (what else?) her reflection in somebody else's window.

Hey, where did everyone go?

Meanwhile, our cowgirl got a ride off into the sunset...
And in minutes, we all ended up in a cul-de-sac eating pizza and cookies. Well, most of us, anyways (Can't wait for Cohen to taste his first cookie!)

But he sure loves being outside. Here he is, doing the Halloween boogie (I guess?), and can I just say I was warming up to the squash persona. He had to be the cutest darn pumpkin around.

Come to think of it, I think he may actually have been the only pumpkin around...

Did I mention we got a great deal on this costume?

I think, though, Cohen may have had his own ideas on what he would have been because--

Well, a little back story: When we have stuffy noses around our house, we whip out a new role of toilet paper. That's right. Good ol TP. Well I walked around the couch to check on Cohen, who was mumbling and moving around in the kitchen (which could mean something fishy's up), and found...

A paper trail.

The perpetrator was soon in custody, but--

In lieu of discipline, I gave him some mummy love. Heh. But I was having so much fun I couldn't help myself, couldn't just stop there.

Everyone's worst nightmare.
A public restroom souvenir.

Ba-dum-bump.

;)

But he was diggin' it.
His beautiful smile says it all.

It was another great Halloween.

IVIG

2008-10-09T10:27:00.005-06:00

Cohen had his first IVIG appt on Tuesday. He did great!

That morning, we brought both Jenna and Cohen to the hem's office. It was Jenna's first visit. They drew something like twelve vials worth of blood for testing. They poked her three times. She was not happy. Understatement, of course.

Cohen had to have his IV in his foot. They tried two other places and no go. He was not happy either. They took him to another room down the hall and I could hear him screaming as I was holding Jenna down with the help of three nurses and she was screaming.

Not fun.

But--

Jenna's CBC looked good that morning. Yay! So now we wait and see what all of those test results say.

Cohen did really well yesterday. We had a nurse yesterday. We decided not to utilize all of the nursing hours we have available. I like being primary caregiver as much as possible, ya know? So for now, we have three days a week all to ourselves. :) And it's working out great.

Anyways, Cohen had a bit of trouble last night - he woke up inconsolable. I've heard from other parents that it's usually the second day after infusion that they get bad, if they get bad at all. Right now, he's sleeping. Earlier, he was stumbling around a bit. I was told he could get bad headaches and flu-like symptoms. I wonder what he's feeling. I wish I could read his mind.

I hope this works for him. I hope it helps him feel better and relieves the constant pain he lives with. I found myself getting all excited about it, and now... well, it's a lot of watching and waiting.

Three munchkins loaded up and ready to go

Some people have to go to the hospital for their IVIG.

We get to go to the hematologist's. Very comfy.

Keeping Hannah occupied.
And no, that Coke is not for her.
Caffeine and this girl would surely mean trouble!
She did very well, though. I was certainly very proud of her.

Resting on Daddy.

Notice who's sleeping... :)

We go back in four weeks for round two.

In the meantime, I will keep you posted!

Feeling Female

2008-09-24T16:41:00.004-06:00

Wow, today is such a weird day.

I am especially emotional, and no, it's not that time again... I don't know what is wrong with me. I just feel like I'm on an emotional roller coaster.

First, our second nurse started today and I'm having very mixed emotions. I want my buddy, my Mr. Mumbles, to go with me everywhere. I want to take him with me to the store, to Hannah's school, to the gym, to church, out to eat at a restaurant. I want him to live a normal life. I want him to be okay. I want to be his full-time mommy without someone else coming in to help. I want to know I'm doing right by him. But mostly, today, I want to cry.

Oh. My. Gosh. What in the heck is wrong with me?!!

Two weeks ago, I was feeling pretty good. Hannah's school is awesome. She's doing so well. We also have her in piano and dance and she's loving that too. And we started paying for private therapy sessions for Jenna. I was/am really excited. Watching Jenna with the therapist is like witnessing magic. This girl is so good with Jenna. Today, however, Jenna gave the girl a run for her money and I kept cringing behind my hand as I sat in the corner and let her do her thing.

Other things have been stressful, like the viruses and strep running through our family, and it seems like we can't break free of the sickness/pain lately. And some of it seems totally unnecessary. For instance, per the neurologist's suggestion, we started trying to wean Cohen off his Neurontin (prescribed for pain). This stuff has been a miracle for him. He went from writhing in pain, screaming in my arms, to snoring within ten minutes of getting his first dose. Later that same night, he slept through the night for the first time in months - maybe ever. Shortly after, he started crawling and then a few months later, walking, when previously he would only cower in the corner and suck his thumb and cringe when anybody'd try to touch him. It was so heartbreaking and frustrating at the same time. When the neurologist prescribed this medicine for Cohen, he had his doubts. He wasn't sure if Cohen's screaming fits at night were because of pain (or perhaps just a parent's inability to cope with colic???), so he basically said, "OK mom, let's try this drug. If it helps him, we'll know it instantly." Yeah, guess so.

So he's been on this drug for a year. At our last appt., the neurologist said let's wean him and see what happens. Well, we saw what happened and it wasn't good. Not at all. He started the same thing all over again. Waking up in the middle of the night screaming hysterically, writhing around in my arms, digging at his body incessantly. I am not exaggerating. So I leave a message for the neurologist and I finally get a call back. First thing out of the nurse's mouth?

"Doctor says to keep weaning him off the medication because it is NOT used for MOODS."

Oh no she didn't.

Not for moods? Not for moods!

Who said a darn thing about moods? Since when is writhing and screaming and digging at yourself like crazy a "mood?"

Oh. My. Gosh. What in the heck is wrong with this nurse?

So I calmly, but firmly, retell her what I said in the message. About his pain. Etc.

She says Neurontin is not for pain anyways. I'm confused, I tell her. What is it for?

Well... it's for seizures and... (a small pause)... leg movement. I could hear the "take that!" tone in her voice. Seriously.

Then why was it prescribed to my kid for pain? And why do all the articles I read about it and all of the drug info I've seen and all of Cohen's other specialists say that this stuff is for NERVE PAIN??? What in the heck? Why would this nurse discredit her own doc's reason for prescribing a medication? Who does she think she is? Doesn't she know parents have much more access to info nowadays? This drug, and its wonderful ability to combat nerve pain, is all over the Internet!

I try explaining the doc's original purpose for prescribing the medication, but snooty-nurse-turned-doctor-wannabe won't listen. Ah, yes. Jenna's birth all over again: some nurses just don't give a darn about the patients they are there to help.

WHO'S PAYING WHOM FOR SERVICES ANYWAYS??? Why, oh why, are these medical people forgetting who provides their paychecks? If it wasn't for us annoying little patients with our annoying little problems, they would be flat out of a job, and who would they be snooty to then?

The nurse hung up on me because I told her she was being rude.

How RUDE! If you know me, you know that I really, really can't stand confrontations. But this girl... I wonder what she would do if she had a kid who was doing what Cohen was doing and someone reduced her concern - and her child's behavior - to "mood."

So Craig calls back and calmly states our case and complains about this nurse. He schedules an appt. for Friday.

The pleasure will be all his.

I'm tired. I don't like calling doctor's offices. I don't like going to them either. It's a catch-22. I have to speak up for these kids when they're hurting. It's my job as mom and I love being a mom. I love my kids. But I hate the fragile nature of the human body. I hate disease and sickness. And I really wish the medical community was a little less overwhelmed and a LOT more understanding, or at least willing to listen more. Not that we don't have some great doctors. But they are all way too busy to really pay much attention to one patient. Even the nice ones are so overwhelmed they don't have time to really give a darn.

Now I think I'll go eat all the ice cream in our freezer.

Sorry for the emotional rant. Again.

*sigh*

Maybe it's time for me to go to med school.

Ha.

Update to Last Post...

2008-09-22T08:28:00.002-06:00

I am flabbergasted. Really.

How in the heck do you go to the ER, have lab work done on a child who can't walk or eat or even drink without vomiting and who has been running a temp of 102-103.6, and walk away with no medication, no antibiotics, and be told it's viral because that's what the blood indicates, and then get a call the next day from the peds office about a strep test done three days earlier that came back positive????

She needs antibiotics mom, the girl at the office tells me. We're going to fax the prescription right over.

As you can imagine, I'm a bit frustrated with the ER staff over at the hospital. Jenna's sickness developed into a red rash. Scarlet Fever? She's feeling much better today, after nearly two weeks of very bad, very ucky, sickness. She may be able to go to school tomorrow.

How did they miss the strep in her throat? How did they send her home without medicinal help? As I mentioned in my last post, I'm beginning to suspect that we can't look at Jenna's blood and read it at face value without possibly missing things...

I'm just so grateful she's feeling better today. She's giggling and laughing and talking to us. That's such a welcome change from the alternately comatose kid and angry combatant we've been trying to help over the past several days.

But now. Now Cohen has a red rash all over his face and body. Little red bumps everywhere. They don't look like chicken pox and are much worse than Jenna's rash -- they cover much more ground. He's not running much of a fever, which could be a good thing or a bad thing. I'm not sure anymore. I'm just so tired. Tired of this stupid season. Already.

Cohen has an appt at the ped's office this afternoon. The girl said to wait with him on a bench in the hallway. Rash protocol. So others don't catch what he has. I didn't say to her that Cohen should always wait at that bench (as long as no one else is already there, of course!) because of what he can catch from other kids, ya know, with his neutropenia issues.

I called the hematologist too because last time I didn't and Cohen was sick I got a lecture about how the hem knows Cohen better, knows his needs when he's sick. Yada, yada. So who to call now? Hem? Ped? Ay-yi-yi.

Anyways, let's hope Cohen gets quicker care than Jenna. I know some of these docs are trying to do their best, have lots of patients and chaos to handle themselves. But that doesn't make it any less frustrating when your child seems to slip through the diagnosis cracks.

Sorry for the rant. Did I mention I hate this stupid season already?

I know, I know. Whaaah, whaaah.

Hope you are avoiding the flying bugs so far...

God bless.

That Time of Year Again

2008-09-18T10:45:00.009-06:00

I had high hopes for this year. Cohen was feeling better, doing well, staying stable. The girls were doing well. Hannah's skin had improved.

But here we are just moving into cold & flu season and already we've been hit pretty hard.

We've questioned Jenna's blood, her bruising. I knew this might be coming, sensed it.

She started getting sick last Wed. Running a fever, clogged with congestion. No biggie, right? A virus. We'll let it run it's course. She missed school Thurs and Fri, still running a fever. Sat, Sun, much of the same. And so on...

By Tues, I was concerned. She was not happy. In the morning, she was stomping around acting whiny, being Miss Sensitive, so I took her to the doc. At the office, she was no longer running a fever. She looked great! Wouldn't you know it? No ear infections, a red throat (from all that drainage, probably) but no strep per the rapid strep test, chest sounds clear. Tummy palpable. And so on...

Well, a few weeks ago we were going to do blood work, but never got around to it (I know, bad mommy!). They had the lab slip ready at the doctor's office when we came in on Tues and I left the office and took Jenna right over to get labs drawn. CBC and Platelets. By this time, she was acting much, much better.

She seemed to do okay Tuesday night, and since I'd been pressured by the school in the past (why was she out for so long? type stuff), I sent her to school Wed so she wouldn't miss any more days. Thurs she woke up saying she was sick. I sent her to school anyways. It's hard to know with Jenna. Sometimes she says things to get attention. I figured she couldn't still be sick because she'd been doing great for two days.

I called the school later that morning to check on her, ya know, just in case. They said she had not eaten her breakfast. She went right to the corner of the classroom and curled in a ball on the floor and went to sleep. She was not doing well. I went to pick her up and she was so sick I had to half support/half carry her out to the car (my baby is not such a baby anymore). Halfway home she started to vomit like crazy. The car smelled like roses, as you can imagine. I thought I might join her.

We called the doc to see if blood results were back. I just had this feeling.

Yes, results were in.

White blood cell count 3. Platelets 97.

Abnormal. Low.

I guess I wasn't super surprised. With Cohen's issues, I figured we might have missed something with the other two kiddos. The pediatrician has said in the past they may all be linked. But now, we have abnormal blood in another child. Maybe it's due to the virus, or whatever it is she's fighting. Maybe, or maybe not.

I'm a little scared. Confused. Frustrated. Worried.

I carried her into the doc's office yesterday just before the office closed. The doc took one look at Jenna sleeping on the table, a red rash all over her face, her back, her arms and said off to the ER you go.

They tried to get an IV in three times. Jenna screamed and head-butted me and slapped at the nurses and gnawed on her hand so hard her jaw kept popping. We couldn't get the IV in, but they got enough blood for a CBC.

Her blood was better this time.

HOW?

She could barely walk, could hardly stay awake, was so sick she refused to eat and barely drank anything all day, when on Tues. (the first blood draw) she was walking around, being silly, laughing... I can't help thinking there's something wrong with this... I think we may be reading her blood the wrong way. Maybe last night she should have been more abnormal than she was. Maybe she started off too low. Maybe, maybe, maybe... I don't know. ER doc told us the blood indicates a viral infection - no medication needed. Let it run its course.

So anyways, the good news is Jenna now has a referral to the hematologist, because even though her blood was better last night, it was still not normal. Her platelets are still low. Which, again, could be due to the virus. Maybe, maybe not. I'd feel much better if she was followed and her blood monitored. Maybe it will give us peace of mind if it is just due to viruses, or whatever...

Jenna and Cohen both go to the hematologist on Oct. 7th.

That is a big day for another reason. That is the day Cohen will start getting intravenous immunoglobulins, otherwise known as IVIG. This is an all-day appointment on an IV drip. If, after three sessions, he improves (including his blistered skin, which isn't getting any better), he will get a portal put into his chest to administer the plasma through there. I am actually so excited--this could really, really help him, but it is a year and a half of hours-long treatment every three to four weeks from what I understand. But if it improves the quality of his life in the long run, I am all for it!

Cohen is also getting a full-time nurse. I couldn't be more grateful for the help. This life is getting crazier by the day...

Cohen just got sick all over Craig this morning, who has been gone since Tuesday and returned home in the middle of the madness... I guess Cohen finally caught the virus, too, although I thought he already had it because he's been waking up screaming every night for the past two weeks. And Hannah got sick last Sun., but is finally feeling better today. She couldn't even get out of bed yesterday, ate two pieces of toast all day and vomited it right back up. *sigh*

AND on top of all of this, my cousin, his wife, her mom, their roomate, and their two kids came to stay with us as Hurricane Ike pelted their neighborhood last Sat. They came here last Thurs. night and just left yesterday, after a full week, because power was finally back up in their neighborhood. We were all watching, fascinated and appalled, as the hurricane swept through Galveston and Houston.

My cousin lives at the far end of Galveston Bay, a little more inland. His house is okay, though. He is so relieved.

Because it could have been much worse.

Bad luck follows this poor guy like the plague.

When Hurricane Rita hit Beaumont, my cousin's apartment there was demolished. He recently had to stay in a rental home for a few weeks (courtesy of homeowner's insurance) because his house caught on fire. When the eye of Hurrican Ike headed right up into the bay, sad to say we weren't really surprised.

We were all joking about it, which made it seem not so bad, even as we hoped people in the area would be okay (some of our family remained behind) and that my cousin's house would withstand the weather. But my cousin knows by now that stuff is just stuff.

At least his family was safe.

We managed to get in some time to visit, went out to dinner, caught a movie. They went sight-seeing a couple of days. I love having family around so I didn't really mind the chaos. And surprisingly, despite all the craziness, I kinda miss them now that they're gone.

The girls makin a mess. Just before we make them clean it up :)

The nurse and Auntie bundling Cohen up like a burrito. Or a fortune cookie. Hehe.

The odd man out. He looks thrilled.

More kid craziness.

Cohen sleeping through it. Can't blame him.

As you can probably imagine, mealtime was very interesting in a house with twelve people. The guys were nice enough to cook up a yummy breakfast one morning...

Flowered pot holder and all. ;)

And April's mom cooked up some Filipino food for everyone.

With some help from April.

It tasted every bit as good as it looks.

And special treats for all...

Yeah, we couldn't resist. This platter was gone in two days. Seriously.

And below, tired, but happy...

Her mama must have just said something really, really funny ;)

And some pics I wanted to post a long time ago:

First day of school!

Yeah, I know it looks like night-time. It's not. It's six a.m. and we're waiting for the bus.

My beautiful girls!

Someone's hair's not done yet cuz she, at least, gets to go to school much later.

Walking sister to the bus. Someday soon I'll capture Jenna's beautiful smile again. *sigh*

This post ended up being much longer than I planned. Geez! I will try to keep up more often.

Till later!

Here's What We Know So Far...

2008-09-10T08:21:00.003-06:00

Results are all in.

They ruled out a bunch and told us, well...

not much at all. Except what he doesn't have. Of course.

--From the hematologist's mouth: our guy does not seem to have problems producing neutrophils, but he does have problems getting them from the marrow into his blood. I've been told by other parents whose children have neutropenia that this doesn't mean much yet; their kiddos have had perfectly good bone marrow biopsies and still have a bone marrow failure syndrome (docs catch the issue in a later bone marrow biopsy - and yes, there will be more in C's future because neutropenia can potentially develop into Leukemia, which is essentially what the doc is telling us at this point C does not have). The only other thing: slightly low hemoglobin. Low enough to be flagged consistently low, but not low enough to be concerned. Hmmm...

--All of the chromosome tests have come back normal.

--His fecal fat test came back normal, but our follow up appt. is on Sept 23, so we haven't yet spoken to the GI doc about that one. I have so many questions to ask...for example, if C is on Neocate-only diet, where he doesn't have to break any proteins down, would that affect a fecal fat test? Also, if there is no evidence of fat buildup in the stool, will there be any more tests? Or should we just try to feed him certain foods? And if so, what??? (We will have a speech therapist and a nurse present when we try this, of course, because he is not used to eating by mouth now though we have been giving him small milliliters of water through a syringe).

--His skin biopsy indicates an auto-immune response. ?? From what I understand, this basically means he does not present with typical "eczema" which is usually attributed to allergies or sensitive skin. Instead, his body attacks his skin when he's sick or struggling. (Hmmm... wonder if H's skin problem is the same?)

I think this is what we've got so far. So not much, but then again, much more than we started with... I guess ruling things out is good too.

Oh, and it's official: C's Neurologist diagnosed him with a neuro-disorder, although he is not ready to ascribe the "A" diagnosis. Instead, he diagnosed C with PDD (Pervasive Development Disorder), the umbrella that Autism falls under, which some people argue is not much of a diagnosis. I had a hard time with it at first, but this diagnosis is important because it may get him more therapy services and help. It doesn't change who he is, it doesn't cause us to give up on him or reduce him to a label - on the contrary, it offers hope, assistance with getting him on the right track, more resources.

Because at the end of the day, C is a beautiful boy. He loves his family and he is happy.

Regardless of where he may measure up in the pediatric world-at-large, he's living his life with a cheerful spirit and he's inspiring us every day. I know there may be obstacles ahead, life won't always be easy (it never is, right?), and we may deal with things we don't know about yet. But we're relieved and thankful that he's doing better, that he's staying healthy, that he's smiling!

Even those darn shots don't seem so bad anymore.

Have a beautiful day.

Wei-erd...

2008-09-07T12:26:00.004-06:00

Okay, so very strange things have happened lately.

First, there was the lightning. What more can I say about getting struck by lightning? Heh.

Then, I was sitting at a stoplight behind some guy in a big ol' truck. We were in the left hand turn lane. When the light turned green, he sat there for a few moments too long. As I waited impatiently for him to step on the gas already, I noticed a bumper sticker with a picture of a crossed out cell phone and a message: put it down and drive! Which wouldn't have been so funny if it weren't for the big black arrow pointing to what was apparently the result of a not-so-gentle love tap.

You probably know where this is going...

He turned left- finally! - and I noticed his phone up to his ear. HA!

I thought about making some gestures, like holding a fake phone up to my own ear or pointing to his bumper sticker with elaborate finger jabs, but, well, I let it go. Mind you, I have occasionally, only occasionally, driven with a phone up to my own ear, but this is exactly why I would never put a bumper sticker like that on my car!

Then, I was driving down a major interstate through town when my cell phone rang and yes!!! I answered it. (Hey, we aren't in California here...although I have a suspicion we may have to give up the chit-chat on the road before too much longer... then again, we can still ride in the back of trucks and stuff here, so who knows? The horrors!)

So anyways, I answer the phone and my friend's voice asks me where I'm at. I'm not sure what she's getting at, but I tell her where I'm at and she tells me to look to my right. And lo and behold, there she is, flapping her crazy hands out the window of a friend's car. She's a nurse and she was in between patient's homes. Running into her on the freeway is crazy considering we live in a huge city.

But then, something else happened. I was driving in the center of town, heading into strange territory trying to find music supplies for H's piano lesson, and I get in the left hand turn lane. A car is heading towards me going pretty fast (it was a few minutes to nine - maybe someone was almost late to work??) so I step on it and turn. The car turns onto the road right behind me. It looks familiar...

...and then it pulls up next to me and I glance to my left thinking no, it just couldn't be! but yes, it could. There was my friend again. She's on her way to work in an area of town I'm never in and in one of the largest cities in the US to boot (did I mention that already?).

I cannot tell you how bizarre this is. Really, really bizarre. So we roll down our windows and we yell at each other, laughing, telling each other, "stop following me!!!" I could hardly believe it.

Then, I'm at H's dance class talking to a friend who tells me her good friend lives in the development right next to ours. So I tell her we looked at houses in that development and I absolutely loved the neighborhood. I describe a backyard we saw as we were looking at one home in particular: the fence of this house we looked at backed up to an incredible yard with a professional, lighted basketball court, a gated swimming pool, and a full playground. I kid you not. This yard was incredible. One of a kind. I told her we couldn't live there unless they put a gate in between our yards :) and plus, the oven was kinda strange on it's own wall on the wrong side of the kitchen.

She looked at me for a few seconds without talking, and I'm thinking no way. It couldn't be. Right? Right???

She tells me she thinks I'm talking about her friend's house.

Turns out her friend bought a house a few months ago, shares a fence line with the incredible back yard and has a funky oven on a wall all by itself.

Out of some two hundred houses in that development, one hundred and fifty at least, I happened to describe her friend's. And yes, it's confirmed. Her friend shows up for the next class and we figure out that it is her house (I left out the part about the funky oven though...). She tells me they got a heck of a deal on it. Good thing, with the oven and all.

Wonder what will happen next? Something strange is going on out here. ;)

*

On another note, we made it to church today and J and H love school. C loves his nurse. And mommy's very, very happy because tomorrow is another MONDAY! YAY!

Hope you are happy and well!

God bless.

When Lightning Strikes...

2008-08-24T08:23:00.002-06:00

Ah, yes. We are a very lucky family.

Two days ago, the rain came down like the earth was a giant hourglass tipped upside down and the ocean was pouring down on us. Lightning ripped through the dark clouds like huge yellow ragged fingers touching the ground all around us as I drove H home from school. I was gripping the steering wheel so hard I thought my fingers would melt right into the leather. But I smiled through it, for my daughter's sake, and acted like it was no big deal.

But it was. To me, at least... have I mentioned I'm a major weather wimp?

The water collected on the streets in a matter of seconds and the traffic crawled along the freeway. Cars in front of me spewed water up from their tires, splashing the windshield so badly I couldn't see. I was amazed the roof of the car didn't cave in from the onslaught of water as it pelted us like rocks dumped from a bucket. The wind drove the water across the pavement in sheets.

I couldn't get out of that car quickly enough, so I stopped off at the gym to meet a friend for a workout, scooping H out of the car and into my arms to run through the rain, my feet splashing through the water, drenching my lower legs. But then, I was thoroughly soaked by the time I made it inside. I looked like I'd already gotten a very good, sweat-inducing workout before I even stepped foot on the treadmill. :)

When I left the gym, I tried calling home but got no answer - it went straight to voicemail. I called back twice more, to no avail. Finally, I called my aunt's cell phone and heard my husband's voice on the other end.

I thought he was joking.

But no, he was only laughing at the odds...

While I was out driving through the wet muck, one of the lightning bolts off in the distance staggered down and in a flash, slipped its bright-white finger through the opening of our chimney, exploding light in our fireplace, spewing light out of the steel gas knob, and tripping six of our breakers - anything with GFI outlets. It also fried our modem, and our digital home phone still doesn't work.

What the heck?

We just can't seem to get it right. First, we have a birthday party and lose all power, then we have a storm and get too much power...

I mean, what are the odds?

At least no one was harmed in the process. And laughter really is the best medicine.

God Bless!

No Answers Yet

2008-08-19T05:45:00.004-06:00

We are still waiting for answers on most of C's medical tests. The BMB went well - but at the time his ANC was pretty low and he needed his Neupogen injection right after. He did great and took his time waking up in recovery.

We had to wake him up the morning of his BMB. He's not happy.
I kept having this feeling of "if only he knew..."

Recovery.
The hematologist's office has these cool "treatment" rooms where some kids go to get their cancer treatment. They are painted with all sorts of themes and have beds and tvs with video games. Very cool.

Getting his IV taken out. Again, he's not happy, but a trooper nonetheless!

His bone marrow looked good - it had the right amount of cells in it, including neutrophils. And the doc had a nurse call before the weekend to tell us there are no signs of leukemia at this point. Thank God. So now the question is why are his little defense cells not leaving his marrow to circulate in his blood stream quickly enough? They don't do him any good if they don't come out to fight. In the meantime, we have to keep up the shots twice a week because his body is still struggling to protect itself. A nurse pointed out that he is the boy in the bubble, except with the new miracles of Neupogen injections to keep him safe and healthy. We are waiting for chromosome results and stool test. Maybe the stool will tell us something. This has been a long road and I'm tired lately. Tired of doctors, tests, waiting... I wish this could all go away. I hate giving the shots, but I know millions of parents have to do this for various reasons. Hematologist keeps reminding me that at least we're keeping him out of the hospital. I couldn't agree more.

The nurse is very nice. She does a great job with C and her presence has been extremely helpful. We are trying to work with J on behavior and sleep, so having the nurse here is helping me focus more on J. Sometimes I feel very confused because I'm not sure how hard to push, how stern to be. She sits and twists the bottom of her shirt in her fingers over and over and over and her eyes dilate and get this glassy sheen and I wonder if she understands that I just want her to learn to sleep in her own room, or stay next to mommy when we're out and about so I don't lose her or she doesn't run off and get hurt. She still doesn't understand danger and she still has a hard time sitting and doing an activity for more than a few minutes at a time. I scheduled an appt for a few months from now up in Pennsylvania at the leading specialist of Cortical Visual Impairment (CVI) to have J evaluated for CVI. The exam will last two hours and at the end of it, we should have an idea of how to help her work around issues of the brain not interpreting what she's seeing. I think this is a big stumbling block for her.

In addition, J is starting to bruise easily and is having more trouble with loose stool. Can't help wondering if we're missing something here... pedi wants to do a CBC, but we decided to hold off in case we find something with C and can test J for that at the same time. Pedi still thinks all three kids are linked. H is starting to have flaring skin problems again. *sigh* I am dreaming of a good night's sleep right now...

Motherhood is such a challenging job sometimes.

On another note: we had more friends move out here from Cali!!! We made them dinner when they arrived this weekend and it's great to have more "friends with history" out here. But already, we have made so many friends out here that we have been keeping quite busy. It's been nice to go, go, go and not think a lot :) Three of my friends have been working out together and they recruited me to their gym so finally, I will have people to work out with and they tell me we are going to go at least three days a week. Maybe that will boost my metabolism so I feel better too. And girl gab sessions will be an added bonus :) Even if I am huffing and puffing at the same time. Hehe.

Been having increasing headaches and dizzy spells lately. Jaw is locking and popping more now than ever. Primary doc (yes, I finally, finally went!) says I probably need surgery to cut my jaw bone and realign my lower jaw with my upper. They used to wire your mouth shut when they did this. HAHA. That would be funny in this household. Now they put metal plates in your head to hold the bones together. Orthodontist is also ready to refer me to oral/maxillary surgeon for the jaw and did I mention I might be getting braces again? The fun continues...

Will post C's results as we get them. Should be trickling in this week. Speaking of this week...H starts school on Wed. J starts on Mon. Can't wait to get back on a regular schedule. And we have a new nickname for C. He is now Mr. Mumbles Magoo. He wanders the house and mumbles/hums deep in his throat. No words yet and he'll be two next month. A little concerning, but he's so darn cute and he has the most beautiful smile.

I'm counting my blessings.

Hope you are all doing well and God bless!!!

Bone Marrow Biopsy

2008-08-05T17:59:00.002-06:00

Tomorrow is bone marrow biopsy day. Geez, we need to get it done already! I'm so nervous. We could actually find out more about what is happening inside the mysterious nether-regions of C's marrow and circulatory system. Craig and I are both going together, so I feel much better about the whole thing, but the past few days have been pretty difficult.

First, we started the 72 hour fecal fat test, except there wasn't enough fecal to measure the fat. C never has solid stool; it's always pea-green and runny, or the consistency of a smoothie. I must be losing my mind, linking something edible to my son's poo. Well, it's been a long week already... oh, man. It's only Tuesday. Anyways, his poo always smells like rank and moldy bread, like when it's left in a tupperware container for too long in a hot vehicle (not that DH does this or anything...).

So we stretched out 72 hours to a whopping five days. The lab says they think they can use day 2, day 3 and the special add-on, but day 1 might be too old by now. Well, crap! HA! We tried. This test will be used to indicate if C has a problem with his pancreas and digesting food.

Monday morning we took C in for what the doctor described as a "skeletal survey." Basically, he had to be held in place as he fought like crazy and in some cases his limbs had to be strapped down with tape to get several x-rays that would show his entire body skeleton. And I know I mentioned my concerns about stopping his Neupogen in my last post, but another medication we stopped was his daily doses of Acyclovir. He'd been on it for two months as a hopeful means to suppress his "Cold Sore Virus" outbreaks. Well, it worked. Obviously so because on Mon morning I noticed a crop of blisters popping up underneath the meaty flesh at the base of C's thumb. By Mon afternoon, they were humongous. So now he has HSV-1 again (cold sore virus) on his hand, it looks painful as hell, and I fear another hospitalization if the meds don't contain it and GET IT GONE. When I got occasional cold sores as a little kid, I never, ever imagined they could torment someone like they torment our little guy. And not just on the mouth either, but on the eye, the thumb, the thigh, the ankle.... oh, yeah. This stuff is not fun.

In addition, H scratched herself to bleeding this afternoon and now her flesh is oozing clear fluid -- again. I'm not sure what this means (possible Staph again?) but I have a feeling her skin is going to start getting worse as the weather changes (and I really, really hope I'm wrong on this one).

But good news. We are getting nursing help! Hooray! Mondays and Fridays to start, but possibly for 40 HOURS a week. First day is Friday. I couldn't be more relieved. It is so difficult to help C when he is writhing and screaming and agitated and just wants to be held and at the same time care for J's needs and H's attention-demanding 'tude. Plus, there is the issue of taking him out in the germ-infested fall and wintertime when all of the viruses run rampant around here. I have so much to run around and do and I don't want to take C out a lot until we know what we are up against and I know he's being treated and, well, bla bla bla...I guess I'm a major worrier...

I just know we will get an answer soon and we can begin to help him (and maybe, just maybe, give him a taste of REAL FOOD someday in the near future...). Please keep him in your prayers.

School days, school days... so close, yet SO DARN FAR AWAY. Thanks for checking in. We'll keep ya posted ;) Hope you are all enjoying the last part of the summer!

Till later.

We're Back

2008-07-28T10:45:00.005-06:00

So we're back from vacation in Cali. This year's trip was much less eventful than last year's - and that's a good thing. No emergency room trips or ambulance rides... instead, we spent our time with friends and family and enjoyed good company and great hosts!

It's strange to be back. This week is such a crazy week. J came home with a roaring ear infection so she has not been a happy camper. I took her to the doc and she is now on antibiotics - thank goodness. She gets so frustrated when she doesn't feel well. At least she can finally point out what hurts (she kept saying "my ear, my ear!" and pointed to her left ear, which the doc confirmed is the worst side). C has been acting increasingly worn out and irritable. He had his hematology appt yesterday and we finally - FINALLY! - scheduled his bone marrow biopsy for next Wed. morning. I am nervous and relieved at the same time. If we don't know what's wrong, we can't help him and we've been getting a little anxious. This morning I took him to get a sweat chloride test to rule out Cystic Fibrosis (although we're pretty certain this isn't his issue, but we'll see). They also took blood and tried to get a urine sample to no avail. Lucky us get to try and catch it at home instead. We also get to spend the next 72 hours collecting poop. So much fun!!! But worth it in the end, I hope.

I tried not to hyperventilate in the hematologist's office yesterday when he told us to stop the Neupogen injections for the next week and a half (he now gets them twice a week because once a week wasn't enough) because we won't get accurate results on the bone marrow biopsy if he gets a shot within a week of the procedure. So we have to keep him fairly secluded until then because he could get extremely sick if he catches something or picks up some bacteria somewhere. Doc took one look at my face and he knew what I was thinking, but I love that he seems so truly sympathetic - like he understands our concerns and feels for us. He reassured me that it's only for a week and it'll be worth it if we get some answers.

Today we also had a GI appt. and I was surprised when the doc mentioned a syndrome I have been reading about online. He really thinks C might have this syndrome. The strange thing is, through my own obsessive research I had found this syndrome and just told my aunt I thought C might have it because all of his symptoms match. We could be wrong, but it still gave me chills to hear him say it and confirm my suspicions. This syndrome involves the pancreas so the stool samples might show excess fecal fat (the pancreatic enzymes cannot sufficiently break down food). We should have results back in about two weeks or so. This syndrome also causes some bone abnormalities so C will have a full body scan on Mon. to see if he has any issues there (remember the limp he had a while back?). Next week is a very important week for us and our little guy, but it'll take a few weeks to get all of the results back.

In the meantime, H gets to cluck again! Practice tomorrow, dance performance on Thurs. C also has therapy Thurs morning. And this weekend is going to be just as busy. I have a baby shower to go to on Sat and I am taking H to a b-day party on Sun. I'm looking forward to seeing people again. Honestly, I am so grateful for the distraction and the chance to see friends and celebrate happy occasions with them! Sometimes it's hard to feel NORMAL lately and getting out and about definitely helps.

And I am SO READY FOR SCHOOL TO START!!!

H and J will both be going. Between J's stellar vibrato as she serenades us around the house and pauses constantly to demand MOVIE! and H's constant need to TALK, TALK, TALK, I can only DREAM about what it will be like *sigh*

I love my family! :)

That's it for now. Hope you are happy and well!

Till later!

PARTY!! (Part II)

2008-06-27T12:34:00.014-06:00

So we bought this picture in May on our anniversary "trip." At the time, it had a much broader significance for us, but on H's b-day, it was the last thing people saw as they headed out the back door because it hangs right next to it.

Very fitting.

But first, the power remained off for what seemed like forever. Two hours. Crazy. I was wracking my brain trying to come up with party games because I did not have a good back-up plan. Friends, don't let this happen to you!

As the house filled up and kept filling up, I felt responsible for everyone's entertainment and happiness. Ironically, most of the kids did not want to play games. They wanted to run around and get into all of the toys. Many of them stayed upstairs in the loft. One mom told me the kids looked like they were having fun.

For those who did want to play, we ran through pin the nose on the clown and toss the hackey sacks into the pail. It took a whole twenty minutes and a whopping five kids played. Oh, well.

Meanwhile, C and J were getting a bit nervous about all of the commotion.

C is retreating into slumberland. Hey, if I could have done that at the time, I would have!

Craig still went outside and grilled up the hot dogs on the BBQ and we served up the food. The rumbling thunder finally stopped SHAKING THE GROUND and the rain was letting up some (the rain is warm and steamy here in the summertime) so we decided to give parents the option to turn the kids loose outside. I was very impressed at how game everyone was.

The backyard started to swarm with kids and helpful parents even as the rain drizzled down.

They loved jumping around in this thing and splashing water everywhere. At least everyone was already wet...to some degree.

And since we had no power and couldn't enjoy the big slide as promised, we rigged up a smaller version that the kids actually loved:

And then? I went inside to check on everyone and a family was praying around the table before they ate. Suddenly, the lights came on. Wonder what they were praying for...

So, finally, the slide goes up and the kids go down. I wouldn't have thought to buy this slide but my parents did and it was definitely a hit. I'm standing under the roof of our back patio, trying to keep my new camera dry :)

My friend manned the bottom of the slide while Craig manned the top:

He lifted the kids up and let em go.

Everyone was laughing and screaming and running around having a great time.

And then?

"Woah. Woah.... We're dying! We're dying! Help!"

That's right. This slide takes two minutes to inflate. If you took away power and the air was no longer supporting it, how long do you think it would take to deflate with a guy and a kid up top?

Someone grabbed the kid. The guy, on the other hand, went down fast. The slide was like a giant, vinyl venus flytrap and my hubby was sucked down into it, the only parts of him visible were his feet sticking up into the air... and his hands waving around frantically with them.

And what did I do?

You got it. Heh ;) Took videos, of course! (Sorry, this means no actual pics... but the video is hilarious!)

Everyone was laughing, and my friend took the opportunity to douse him with some of the water from the slide sprayers before she pulled him out (Craig had the hose sprayer earlier).

Paybacks... :)

I must say, he probably would have appeared more graceful extracting himself from beneath some muscle-y six foot linemen in a pro-football game after being tackled.

But the effects were priceless.

H is taking a break.

At least we got one batch of popcorn done before the lights went down. The house smelled like a movie theatre. But then J was upset because she finally got a movie and then it was gone again. We kept thinking we could heat things up in the microwave. In fact, we were smack dab in the middle of discussing the DUH factor of these statements when...

...ten minutes later, the power was back up and so was the slide. YAY!

Craig stayed down below this time.

Miss b-day burrito trying to get warm.

And where is J?

Entertaining herself.
At least for the time being.
At least before aunt had to take a walk with her and mom had to run circles around the driveway with her on my back... oh the things we do to distract her...

After 45 minutes or so, we rounded up all the kids and brought them inside to change and get ready for cake and ice-cream. They loved the warm popcorn after being wet outside. It ended up working out perfectly!

J is changed and ready to party -

J-style.
Ha!
The Bee Movie was a hit.

Chaos. Pure, good ol' b-day party chaos.

Hey, how about a date...

...in about twelve years or so?

Aren't they too cute?

Popping the corn. I think everyone loved this even more after we thought we wouldn't be able to enjoy it.
This guy manned the popcorn machine and later, after cake, the sno-cone machine. We loved having him around... oh, but of course he's good company too! ;)

Du-du-du-du... what is wrong with this picture?

Who let that man walk with that?

Oh, maybe the girl obsessed with taking the pictures... HA!

I know, I know. I shouldn't give him such a hard time. He worked so hard setting everything up and keeping the party moving. I couldn't have done this party without him and he did a great job while simultaneously keeping things interesting... Love ya, Craig.

Happy Birthday To You!!!

J has a bird's eye view. She's lovin it.

She also loved the cake.Presents. Fun!

Something tells me the moms didn't realize they were part of the photo op!

But mmmm, those sno-cones were really good. Strawberry. Definitely a hit.
My carpet even got a taste. Several of them, in fact.

That's okay. Thank goodness for Scotch Guard and Woolite oxyclean!

Everyone trickled out eventually with the last guests leaving at... oh, about ten o'clock...and I think everyone had fun. I hope, at least.

H loved her gifts. She wasted no time getting dressed up. Aren't you supposed to do that for the party? Not after?

Yeah, she looks a bit tired in this one.

The next morning dawned BEAUTIFUL, with blue skies and chirping birds.

Wouldn't ya know it? The birthday party we went to on this day was INDOORS. Hey, we could have used the sunshine a whole lot more! Not fair! WHAAAH! But then we wouldn't have such a great story to tell, right? And I bet people won't forget this party anytime soon... :)

That morning, my cousin's wife prepared to leave.

But there was one little problem.
What in the heck are they looking at?

We had a late party guest outside our house - one more reason (ASIDE from the summer storms, of course!) that I absolutely, positively LOVE living here!!!

Do ya see it?

No? Okay, let's zoom a bit closer.

See it now? This is as close as my tremblin' hands get y'all.

Diamond back. Baby rattler. We only know this cuz my aunt was stup--- I mean, kind enough, to get right on top of the thing for the sake of knowledge.

When I acted concerned, she scoffed. It's too cold out here. It can't move until it warms up, she says.

Yeah, uh-huh. If you know me, I'm not taking my chances!!! Do ya blame me?

Luckily, like all of the party guests, this little guy slithered off to wherever it came from. At least, we haven't seen it around here since.

Will ya knock on wood for us?

With our luck there's no tellin'!

Till later!

PARTY!! (Part I)

2008-06-24T10:41:00.010-06:00

I can hardly believe it. H is now four!

Through all of the preparations, H was so excited for her birthday party. I've tried so hard to get J excited about hers (to little avail) that H's overflowing enthusiasm is definitely refreshing. Maybe someday J will catch on too! :)

The day started out hectic. H had her final dance class in the morning. This group of kiddos and parents has been absolutely awesome. We debated trying another studio next year, but we may just stay put because it looks like nearly everyone else is. This dance class has created more of a social network than I imagined. We all go to each other's kid's b-day parties and it has been really fun.

Well, we handed out our invitations a few weeks back and another family had been planning to have their daughter's party on the same day at the same time. They told me this the next week when they handed out her invitations; to avoid a conflict, they had decided to have her party the day after H's (Sun). On the morning of the party, the girl's dad thought he'd be funny and tell me to watch out for rain (our plan was to inflate a giant waterslide my parents bought for the girls and let the kids run around in the backyard). I said, really? (cuz he's from here and I figured he'd know) and he smiled and shook his head. Ha, ha, he said. Just kidding. Does it look like it's going to rain?

Well, no, I said feeling like an idiot. I think we're good.

And we were. The day was beautifully sunny, hot, and of course muggy. Perfect for a little dip in some nice cool water and a slip down a fun slide.

So I went home and got the kids and house and food and party favors and balloons ready with a lot of help from a friend (Thank you, Deanna!) and my aunt, and of course the hubby.

Once the kids were dressed, I took the photo op:

Deanna's daughter is H's best friend and they were running around together as we got ready for the day.Yeah, she may be dancing, I'm not sure.
Maybe she still has the chickens on the brain?

Then my cousin's wife, her mom and two kids showed up early (they are some of the few family members we have within driving distance - granted it's a three hour long drive).My cousin's wife loved holding C, who loved trying to escape!

Her mom eventually joined us in the kitchen as we cut up melon and made cold cut platters and veggie platters and fruit dip and... well, you get the picture.
A few of the food items as they went out:

As we were in the kitchen preparing, we started to smell something foul. I mean very, very rank. Uggghhh! Who's the culprit? We ran around checking diapers and couldn't figure it out until we realized we were cutting cheese! So freakin' funny. Swiss. Has this happened to you?

And I was so happy I was able to do something with my bare mantel. I haven't been able to figure out how to make it more warm and original. I guess there's nothing more original than personal photos. Oh, and some cool wooden vases.

And we laid out the party favor buckets with some lei's H just had to have when we went to the party store.

As we worked hard inside, daddy was busy getting the outside ready. First, the new canopy and seating went out:

And next up? The humongous waterslide. Looks pretty cool and fun right?
And the balloons were starting to go up around the fence line. It was a little windy but warm. My neighbor calls me up and tells me she sees Craig working so hard in the yard and they are really excited to come to the party and try out the waterslide. So, now all we needed were the guests and all Craig needed was a shower to freshen up.

Did I mention it was warm and muggy?

So Craig goes to take his shower and emerges fresh and clean.

He needn't have bothered, y'all.

He was about to get one courtesy of Mother Nature.

That's right. Wouldn't ya know it?

Ten minutes before the party is supposed to start, the heavens unleash a fury. A full-on, rip-roaring, thunder-clapping summer storm.

Craig walks out and takes one look out the window and groans. Then he notices the canopy is about to set sail. He runs to the door followed by my friend and my aunt. And what did I do?

Took pictures, of course! :)

Yeah, ummm.... some good advice: before you put up a canopy, read the directions and make sure ya know how to take it back down in a hurry - just in case.

So Craig is trying and trying and trying and the wind is lifting this thing up into the air and he and my aunt finally get the legs shorter, but they still can't collapse the center and the rain is just pounding down. Craig yells for my friend to go inside because she doesn't have a change of clothes. I know what you're thinking.

But what do I do?

Take more pictures, of course. :)

My aunt is drenched. She probably needs a towel. Right after I get a few more shots in... ;) hehe

And off to the left of this picture? A sno-cone machine and a popcorn machine we rented for a whopping hundred bucks. That's okay -- all we had to do was move them inside to the counter and we were still good to go.

Craig, on the other hand was still outside trying to figure out the canopy. He's such the handyman.
See him looking over his shoulder at me?

Hmmm. Probably thought I could be doing better things with my time than taking pictures of him wrestling the canopy.

It was so darn funny I couldn't help it.

Now, you might be thinking this is turning into a major disaster. As far as we knew, we had fifty people heading over to our house for a b-day party and a waterslide and the whole thing was going so horribly awry. But, surprisingly, I was laughing my--- well, I was laughing hysterically. Maybe I was in shock.

But then? The lights go out. Yep. A transformer blows and this whole side of town is without power.

The repercussions were crazy! Many of our party guests were stuck at traffic lights that were out, and only two families on our guest list made it before it was forty-five minutes past party time. I thought for sure people weren't going to show because of the weather.

But? Knock, knock.

And they kept coming. And coming.

And I had no electricity. For those of you who know J, you know that this would be a worst-case scenario for us. J gets social anxiety really badly. When she gets this way the ONLY THING that calms her is the TV. Ah yes. Great conditions, I tell you!

At least we had the cold-cut platters so we could actually feed people as promised. And Craig went ahead and fired up the grill beneath the roof of our patio and grilled the hot dogs. Meanwhile, I was scrambling my brain trying to figure out what to do with all those kids. I didn't really have a back up plan.

Ummm, so not a good idea!

But, thank goodness for H's new room. The bunk beds were a hit--even if the kids were swinging from them like monkeys! We did have tape the nose on the clown and I tried to get creative with some other made-up games, but most of the kids were having fun running around upstairs in the game room and the girl's room.

So how long did the power stay out?

TWO HOURS.

So, let's just get this straight.
No slide. No movies. No popcorn and no sno-cones.

Just chaos. Pure, rambunctious, child-filled chaos! So what did we do?

STAY TUNED FOR PART TWO!!!

A Birthday Present

2008-06-23T07:45:00.008-06:00

H's b-day celebration really began about two weeks before her party.

If you can call painting a room and hauling heavy furniture up a switchback staircase celebration!

But this was our gift to H. A room redo. Or, more accurately, her room finally done at all.

It took some strategy. Since I couldn't fit two twin-size beds in the room and actually leave some room left over to play, or have furniture for that matter, I found some used bunk beds with the storage included for a really good price. We just used the girl's mattresses on the bunk frames. But there was a problem: the bunk beds weren't exactly the look I would have gone for. They were more rustic log cabin than clean white princess.

So a makeover was in order. We stained the beds a darker mahogony shade which made them look a bit more feminine. A bit. Then, instead of the pretty regal be-jeweled princess room I had planned, I got to thinking... and came up with a sort of tree house meets forest fairy sorta thing. I'm not finished, but I thought I would kick off the b-day posts with the pre-show planning. :)

I must say the room was quite a hit at the party. I just wish I could get the kids to actually sleep up there... *sigh*

I guess part of my gift to H was letting her get in on the decorating action. Just a little of it though because honestly? The thought of a four year old wielding a loaded paint brush is almost too much for my perfectionist self to handle! But she really wanted to help and I just couldn't say no.

Phase 1: Tape off.

Not sure what she's reaching for. Hmmm.

Phase 2: Some much-needed color on the walls:

Okay, come on in, but watch your STEP!
Color looks sorta blue, but it's actually light purple. Very pretty. And girly.

Phase 3: Every forest/tree house room needs grass...

Advice: if you're actually brave enough to hand over a roller, ALWAYS remain within arm's reach and make sure your tarp is taped securely to the wall! And Breathe.
Oh, and try to smile and act happy and proud :)

Mom adds the finishing touches:

And without further ado--

voila!

Of course the top bed is undone. Didn't notice until now.

Had to have the mirrors for J.

There's even a new TV in the armoire. She still likes to hog ours, though :(
In all fairness, it is much bigger.

And I tried some handpainted flowers. They didn't come out quite like I wanted, but I might work on that more later.

Their adjoining bathroom:

No new paint in here. Just run-of-the-mill decor, but it still turned out bright and cute.

And the first cards arrive in the mail...

So exciting to be four and have a room to call your own! Or, well, your own with your sister! ;)

Next up: The b-day festivities.

When it rains, it pours!

What A Crazy Week! First, the Chickens Flew the Coop.

2008-06-22T10:42:00.005-06:00

I have so much to tell you. Where to begin?

Well, first up: H's dance recital. Remember the "Groovy," "Far Out" chickens? They were out in full force on Monday. Dress rehearsal in the morning, recital later that night. The recital took place at a beautiful theatre downtown. And let me tell you: the chickens stole the show.

Seriously, throw some three and four year olds in costume and put them up on stage and they really just have to stand there to be cute and entertaining. You never really know what they'll do when you turn them loose.

Dress rehearsal was somewhat disappointing. Everything was behind schedule so when the girls got up on stage to practice, it was an hour later than expected and they were hungry and ready for nap time.

First, though, we touched up hair and make-up in the dungeon, uhumm, I mean, dressing room. These rooms were downstairs, windowless, and hotter than hel--ck! The hollywood style lights doubled as mini-heaters and that, in combination with so many bodies crammed into such small spaces... well, we were all fightin' for air. But we managed to get a few shots in as we held our cameras in fingers slick with sweat - and I kid you not.

These girls would later run amuck through our house for H's birthday party...
that story coming soon (and what a story it is!).

Smile, everyone! Cheese! C'mon. Say Cheese! Hello? CHEESE!

And more of the same. They look thrilled.

Kids will be kids. Group shots will be nightmares.

I don't know if you can see the back of H's head of hair, but this was about the only FIVE MINUTES her hair stayed curled.

And then, as if we hadn't tortured them -- and ourselves!! -- enough trying the whole group photo thing, we handed the reigns over to a professional and, for the record, I saw the proofs of these shots and he didn't fare much better!

Yep, I joined a dozen other moms branching off and snapping away because everything was running so darn late. I like this one. Still don't get to see the pearly whites, though.

And finally?

Lined up and ready to go. Except they didn't really go, just sorta stood there as the music played and played. We crossed our fingers for a better performance at the real deal later that night.
H is second from the FAAARRRR right.

H had some good wing-flapping action, though.

So we weren't allowed to take pics of the actual performance, so I don't have any to share. I will have a professional DVD sometime in the next two months or so. Let me tell you: I was so proud of these kids. They went to town on that stage. Put a great big, huge, colossal audience in front of them and they light up like true divas. The entire audience was laughing so hard, especially when they turned around to shake, shake, shake their tail feathers. And they were singing at the top of their lungs... with foot mikes in front of them to amPLIFY the sound.

We made a last minute decision to stay for the entire show so H could be in the finale. So did a whopping five other chickens. The recital didn't end until 10:30. Glad H didn't have school the next day. Oh yeah. Guess nobody did since it's summer and all...

I took some pics of waiting in the dressing room. We had a DVD player going and drinks and snacks for the girls and coloring books and they actually had a pretty good time.

Awww...cute...

And below: I told her to pose...

What the heck?!
All that clucking must have gotten to her brain.

And finally, home at last...

with flowers for a job well done.

Pssst: don't look too closely. I realized afterwards that H had some of her late-night drive-thru dinner still smeared on her face.

I was so tired, I didn't even notice.

I will post about H's b-day party later tonight. You're not gonna believe the day we had. Let me just say, it all started with a jinx...

'Til later!

2008-06-13T12:17:00.003-06:00

No, not digital scrapbooking...just some pics thrown into Powerpoint. I wish I had time to scrapbook... *sigh* Will post goings on tomorrow. Hopefully.

The Rain Came Down...

2008-06-13T08:46:00.010-06:00

I don't know what's happening lately. I am seriously emotional. Like so serious the tears fall when I least expect them to. There have been several reasons for the flood lately and the winners are:

1. Brett Banford on So You Think You Can Dance.

Because I grew up around dance, I really like this show. It's different from Dancing with the Stars because the dancers on this show put their pounding hearts into what they do. Some of them have given up a lot and risked ridicule from naysayers in order to do what they love. They've suffered through aching pains and muscle spasms for years learning to move like they do and I admire their strength. They are fascinating to watch because they are talented and I actually want to see them succeed. And some of the choreography is so cool or beautiful.

And there was one guy at the Salt Lake auditions this year who actually made me cry.

What?! I watch stuff like this all the time, but this time was different. I totally lost it.

Check this out.

Did you see the dancers in the background, cheering and pounding their fists in the air? Yep, I think that's when it rained the hardest.

Here's a review written by a guy named Jason Hughes from TV Squad:

Inspiring Story of the Night
Down's Syndrome was the spotlight handicap of the night. I'm not trying to make light of the condition, but rather the fact that it's become almost trite for SYTYCD to give air time to varying disabilities to show that you can do anything no matter what cards life has dealt you. I don't even know if I can criticize them for doing this as it is inspirational to see these performers, but at the same time is it necessary to give us a blind dancer last week and Down's Syndrome this week? Especially since none of these dancers are good enough to move on. Or maybe I'm just a cold-hearted bastard.

Maybe. Okay, probably. Ssssssssss...

2. Cohen's First Dental Cleaning

Ah, yes. I do not wish this on any parent, yet we all must go through it, right? After weeks of waiting for the hematologist's clearance (Cohen had a lot of calcium/tartar buildup I couldn't get off with a toothbrush - weird things happen when you don't eat by mouth...), yesterday morning I held him down in my lap as his head lay in the hygienist's lap and she cleaned his teeth while he screamed until he gagged and heaved, but thankfully did not throw up. I know it didn't hurt and he's been through much worse, but I was still shaking when I left. I hate holding him down like that. I managed to keep the smile on my face until I got to the car and then...

you guessed it.

This wouldn't normally make me cry, but I couldn't help myself.

At least his teeth are sparkly clean now and I have a few months to recoup before next time.

3. And Finally...

You aren't going to believe this.

I cried when I saw this and this and this. And the rest of the pics there too.

What in the heck is wrong with me?
I'm not even a Democrat!

I think I need to see a head shrinker.

A Break!

2008-06-03T09:36:00.006-06:00

Time to catch up...

As much as I love my kids, I love being without them for a while too, which was a luxury Craig and I got to enjoy two weekends ago. To perform this incredible feat, we convinced my mom to fly out from Cali for the weekend (this didn't take much convincing by the way) and she teemed up with two of my aunts to man the troops so we could have some time off!

We didn't really go far because I'm lame and still have separation anxiety, but we had a great time sticking close to home, finally celebrating our whole ten years of marriage.

We rented a hotel suite and went out to eat and relaxed and bought stuff...

I expected to be spoiled, maybe even get some flowers and a romantic card, but no! Check out this gift that Craig got for me.

Isn't it beautiful? :)

I had my camera in hand when we went to see some nearby "springs." Springs...ha! See, around here, water runs underground between a space in the limestone. This is called an aquifer. On a nearby State University campus, you can go check out the water bubbling up from beneath the ground.

While we were there, I took pictures of lots of bori-- I mean interesting things...

My first action shot with my new camera (if you can call taking a picture of a turtle action!). As slow as this guy is moving, I still managed to take a blurry shot. :)

I thought this was a cool picture. Don't ask what that building is up there - I have no idea, but it looks like a castle, doesn't it? Now, I am by no means a skilled photographer, but it is kinda fun and therapeutic to walk around looking for interesting stuff to snap.

Uh, yeah. Another one of those shots.

And another... ;)

And check out this web...
Puts Charlotte's to shame.

And the required self-portrait:
Headed for the trees...

Below: Can you see the turtles? Just a reminder that I'm not exactly a skilled photographer...
And the moment you've been waiting for...

Ta-da!

The gushing "springs"
Is it just me, or does this seem like a bit of a letdown?

Finally, back at the hotel after our day of looking at bubbles in the water and shopping at lots of cool places, Craig shows off what he got for his gift:

In all fairness, he probably got a bit jipped. But it is a cool watch, right? And see the clothes off to the right? Yep, I couldn't resist some pint-sized apparel... even on my anniversary outing, I'm still thinking of the kids.

Speaking of the kids... back at the house, they were keeping very busy. Stay tuned for that post...

Later!

Two-in-One

2008-05-22T05:27:00.004-06:00

I gave Cohen his Neupogen injection for the very first time yesterday. I did a great job! Yay me! Not only did I manage to poke him for the injection, I somehow managed to poke him again!

That's right. Two holes in one.

Something tells me Cohen wasn't as thrilled with this arrangement...

:(

Ms. Nurse Practitioner tried to make me feel better and told me I did a great job. My son told me (in that frantic baby-scream way, ya know) that I sucked. Oh, well. There's always next time. And the time after that. And...

I got a three week supply chillin in the fridge. Wish me luck!

To the Bogeyman: BOO!

2008-05-15T10:10:00.006-06:00

I had a very bad dream this morning. It had to do with Cohen and it scared the living daylights out of me. I can't shake the mood it put me in - I wish I could snap out of it already. I've had a similar thing happen before when I dreamed about Jenna. Why do fears always pop up when you're asleep and can't fend them off?

I've been okay up until now. Searching for answers has kept us busy and the severity of this stuff hasn't really sunk in. Until now, maybe.

It seems Cohen can no longer maintain his own neutrophil levels. The hematologist has been monitoring the patterns and Cohen's bone marrow responds to the Neupogen shots for maybe 48 hours or so and then his neutrophils slowly wane until he is right back to being Neutropenic.

When we went in yesterday, the first thing the doctor said was, "So we avoided admittance? Good, good..." There is no doubt in my mind (and apparently in the docs, too) that the hospital is exactly where Cohen was headed until we gave him the Neupogen injection last Wed., which avoided yet another admittance and excruciating IV meds that make him vomit by the third or fourth day.

Then the doc said "please don't tell me he's had fever..." Apparently, fever indicates something very bad because illness obviously does not mean the same thing for our little guy as it does for the rest of our family. Great, now I'm checking his forehead for the slightest indication...

Finally, we checked his levels, which indicated that his neutrophils were on their way down again since the injection last Wed. So now we are on a maintenance plan; every week he gets the stick. Even better, every week I get to give it to him. Now I know there are people out there who do this all the time with their children - for whatever health reason - and it doesn't really bother me too much. What is agonizing, however, is that we are now waiting until we see the Genetic Specialist again on July 1 to do the bone marrow biopsy, which is definitely happening now, and for obvious reasons. We're trying to move that appointment up.

To be honest, I'm scared. My dream didn't help matters. I just love him so much, and sometimes, when I look at him and he flashes his sweet smile, I feel like something is breaking deep inside me. Oops, I'm getting too emotional... moving on...

Good news: I've learned a new skill that should save us some money - I'm now a beautician. That's right. Hannah wanted her hair cut. "It's too long," she said. "Are you sure?" I'd been thinking the same thing- she was now actually able to sit on it.

"Yes, mommy, will you cut it for me?"

So guess what? I did.

And I think it came out pretty good myself.

This is Hannah's idea of acting natural. She's ready for the beach this summer with what she calls her "Beach Hat." Of course, you can't see that much of my haircut, but trust me, I did a great job ;)

Another customer of mine who's due for his next trim, although Daddy thought he'd have some fun and try a new hairstyle...

Punk Baby.

A closeup of the faux hawk:

A few more pictures:

Cohen is really enjoying his baths lately. We discovered he likes them best in the sink. I love his goofy smile...

Hannah "reads" to her pupils, her babies...
...and has even begun to teach them about Time Outs (Wonder where she gets that from? She sounds suspiciously similar to another mommy in the house)

A makeshift clubhouse - girls only:

And finally - a package at the door! YAY for presents. This one's from Grandma and Papa and happened to come in the middle of some serious lipgloss application... purple is the new pink if you didn't know... :) Goes great with red hair.

And no, that is not a crooked haircut - her head is leaning. I really did do a good job. Really. :)

I guess I don't have much funny in me today, so the comments are fallin' a bit flat. Oh, well. At least you had pictures to go along with it!

Hope you are all doing well. I sure miss my friends and family right now.

Til later!

I Do! Still.

2008-05-09T08:57:00.020-06:00

My husband and I have finally been married long enough for my wedding dress to be seriously out of fashion!

May 2, 1998. Wedding day. Overcast. Rainy. Honestly, I was in a bit of disbelief. As in, am I really getting married today? I was twenty years old and naive, but here I am ten years later, writing about it.

To stay married for a long time means you probably had a perfect wedding, right?

Ha, ha -- WRONG!

The night before our wedding, I drove an hour away to pick up a wedding ring for Craig. He was actually going to borrow a friend's for the ceremony. We got back late and I still hadn't finished the vows someone - uhum - decided we should write ourselves. So there I was, typing away at my friend's computer by the white light of a desk lamp until the wee hours of the morning when I was supposed to look fresh and beautiful the next day.

Morning came much too quickly. And of course, the morning sickness was waiting to greet me as I blinked against the gray morning light. My friend's mom did my hair in the bathroom as I studied my vows and my bridesmaids clamored around getting ready. The photographer came and we weren't ready for her. Of course the guys were, though.

As we're getting ready, my friend's mom tells me about something borrowed, something blue... I was clueless. Thank goodness my wedding was blue (my garter too!) and she gave me an angel pin to secure to my...well... under the bodice of my dress. And my dress! Did I mention morning sickness already? Well, some swelling goes along with that, too... and the fact that you size those things weeks, sometimes months, in advance does not help in situations like mine. The seamstress at the gown shop already added extra panels in the sides (gasp!).

My dad arrived in my little Honda Civic and I stuffed myself (yeah, a two door car is not a good idea when you're in a wedding dress) into the front seat with white silk poofing up around me. I felt like I was Marilyn Monroe without the street grate.

We were, well, significantly late to the wedding ceremony. :)

As they were seating the guests, someone told the groomesmen to seat all of Craig's family on one side and mine on the other - they took that to mean all of Craig's guests, too. Craig was military; he was in a foreign town. Good thing we weren't on a boat.

The ceremony itself was beautiful, except when the pastor slipped and said Sherry and Greg (my brother's name) and everyone chuckled. I read my vows - shameful! - while Craig had his memorized. Whose idea was this vow thing again? ;)

Then there's the reception. By this time, I was so weak my Grandma had to bring me half a sandwich, which I ate with trembling voracity. Guess the kid wanted to eat or something...

We had a potluck reception because we were young and on a very tight budget. The mix of food was very interesting. I had meatballs floating on a turkey sandwich because someone went to get our food for us and piled it high. I think I remember pistachio pudding on there somewhere, which I normally love because my aunt always makes it, but it doesn't really go well with spaghetti and potato salad and jello.

Then, there was the special dance. You know, the wedding dance where you get emotional - or physical, I guess, depending on the couple! Admittedly, I got the song wrong and Craig still won't let me live it down. I had the dj play Truly, Madly, Deeply by Savage Garden. That's not our song, Craig said later. He used to sing another song to me all the time while we were dating: KC and Jojo's All My Life. You are the only one, my everything...

Oops. Sorry Craig (again!) :)

After the reception, Craig and I drove off into the sunset. Well, not really. But we did go to a hotel up at the local casino, where we had plans to get a nice dinner (we were so nervous we didn't eat at the reception. Well that and there was that other reason I mentioned...) until we realized Craig forgot to pack a change of clothes.

So we ordered pizza. Delivery. And the rest of the night went according to plans... ;)

Our honeymoon really began a few weeks later, when we embarked on an adventure to catch a free flight (courtesy of the Military) to Oahu, where we would then continue on to Kauai. We waited and hoped for three nights. So the first night of our honeymoon did not take place on the beautiful island next to the sea, but in the hotel on base, where the only room left had twin beds that we discovered (when we tried to move them) were actually bolted to the wall.

When we finally caught our flight out (at 3am), I got to ride in the upper half of a C-5 Cargo plane - a huge airborne beast. Very cool.

There's so much more I could say about this honeymoon, about how beautiful the island was and how family members who lived there gave me my very first mother's day card, but this post is getting so long already...

Craig, I am so proud of us. We have stuck out our marriage and it has not been easy. We've been through children with medical issues, sleep deprivation, financial despair, but through it all, we hung in there and here we are now, doing what we never thought we could do.

We're living life - together - with our three beautiful children ten years after our chaotic, but wonderfully unforgettable, wedding day!

HAPPY DECADE, CRAIG!!! LOVE YOU.

Self Improvements

2008-04-29T20:39:00.004-06:00

Sometimes we forget we own our home now and we can tear it up (ha!) or change it in any way we'd like.

For our first home improvement Ta-Da!, we painted a niche in our home. A small niche. Actually, it's more like a slight indent in the wall. But it is tall enough that we needed to use a ladder (gasp!) and we did not hurt ourselves in the process. Amazing.

We're thinking about tackling the dining room floor soon. We'll buy the pre-fab hardwood planks and tear up the carpet ourselves to put it in. How hard can it be? Wait, I didn't really expect you to answer so you can keep your doubts to yourself... :)

Then there's the vanity in the half bath, the pulls on the kitchen cabinets (the miles and miles of kitchen cabinets...), the den floor, wood trim in the hall, built- ins for the tv niche in the family room... and on and on and on. Chances are, none of this will get done before we move (yes, even if that is twenty years from now, or better yet, never), but at least our intentions are ambitious! We'll see. Maybe we'll even surprise ourselves...

Hey, I watch HGTV sometimes and that's GOTTA COUNT FOR SOMETHING! I'm probably a home-improvement genius and just don't know it yet! ;) And while I can't guarantee pics in the future (cuz I can't guarantee the outcome will be picture worthy - uhum), I am putting one up here for your amusem--- I mean, enjoyment :) If you don't like the color, well, the best advice would be to close this window quickly.

Voila!

Til later!

Good News First...

2008-04-23T12:23:00.011-06:00

YAY! Cohen's numbers are all within normal range today. The Neupogen worked and we don't go back for another two weeks to check and make sure the numbers are still looking good.

I'm not sure exactly what we ruled out with these results, but I know we probably ruled out something... of course I thought of all the questions I would have asked as I was driving out of the parking lot.

On another note:

Remember that great workout I got at the gym two days ago? Well, like an idiot, I stuffed my purse underneath the seat before I went in because I didn't want to hassle with getting a locker. Turns out I should have hassled after all.

When I got home from the gym, I forgot about my purse in the car. Duh. I didn't go anywhere yesterday, so the car - and purse - stayed put in the driveway.

You already know what's coming, right?

Early this morning, around 2am, there was more than just little critters and wild animals roaming in the moonlight just outside our house. Think larger and much more devious.

Their handiwork was all-too evident in bright daylight: hundreds of tinted shards of glass littered our driveway just beneath the rear driver's side door. To make matters worse, the early morning sky had released a torrent and it basically rained inside our car: water and glass mixed together like dark gray-green peanut brittle and silvery glass beads that shattered on the leather seat and formed a dangerous mound inside Hannah's car seat.

No purse in sight.

Here's what went down according to the transactions on record: by 3:30am the perps hit up seven gas stations with two cards they found in my wallet. Card number one was monitored by a very pro-active (almost frustratingly hyper-active before I realized how beneficial that could be!) financial insitution which shut down the card by the time they reached location number four and the other, a pre-tax medical mastercard that wasn't worth a darn at any gas station.

So they hit pay dirt with a very exciting and lucrative DVD rental from one of those red boxes outside McDonald's, and two whole tanks full of gas before their operation was cut off at the pass, so to speak. WOO-HOO! I hope their cars get great gas mileage, cuz the fruits of their labor are probably evaporating very quickly :)

The PD sent out an officer from CSI to dust for fingerprints and he told us that a string of young guys have been cutting holes into car windows and knocking out the glass before reaching in and grabbing anything that looks like it could contain a credit card or money. They do not go for valuables, just straight $$$. We're still trying to figure out how in the heck they got into our gated community at 2am. Maybe these gates are a false sense of security. :(

My car has a factory alarm. They should add a disclaimer that those things only work if someone is actually trying to steal your car, not the stuff inside. Or maybe I should have known that already.

Anyways, five cars were hit last night. These guys have been operating for weeks. Hope they catch them. We all work hard for what we have. So now we have to get the window repaired, and since our deductible is more than the cost of the window, we're out a couple hundred bucks.

The list of stuff I have to replace:

CELL PHONE (Ouch. This one hurts)
Driver's license
The cards they used, or tried to use at least...
Medical insurance cards
Make-up (and this stuff is not cheap!)

This involves a lot more errands than I want to run right now and long lines of people with lots of waiting around.

I hope I learned my lesson. Hopefully. :)

So tonight I take my Aunt out shopping for her birthday. At least I still have money in the bank. Could be worse. Just hope I don't get pulled over and yes, I just knocked on wood.

Til later!

Update

2008-04-21T19:20:00.002-06:00

So a quick update.

We went to the hematologist's office today to check Cohen's blood count after he received the first Neupogen injection on Friday.

His numbers had dropped -- which is, of course, not supposed to happen.

Now, not only his white blood cells are low, but his red ones too. Low red blood cells, low hemoglobin, low hematocrit, low platelets. What the....???

We were disappointed, but we know that Neupogen was merely a temporary solution anyways. He had to get another injection today and we go back on Wed. to check yet again. He has been a little agitated and more than usually tired, but other than that, he is acting more comfortable today than he did last time he got the stick. If his numbers don't look good on Wed., they're bringing in the big guns (they're going to do the bone marrow biopsy). The doc explained that Cohen would get a sedative and they would perform the biopsy right there in the office. He said it would be painful as heck. This might be one time I'll let Craig in on the action while I bow out gracefully. We'll see. I hate not being there for Cohen even as I can't stand watching him go through this stuff.

I am trying not to overthink things. Some vague possibilities are floating around in our heads, but we will not dwell on anything until we get definitive confirmation. The biopsy just might give us that. Or maybe not. At this point, who knows? I really love this doctor, though. He ran out to the waiting room as we were leaving to make sure he'd answered all of our questions. He's a thinker and sometimes we sit and let him process things without saying anything.

As of now, my three kiddos are lined up in a row, jammie-clad, and watching a good-night show before bed. My Aunt and I did some retail therapy and I went to the gym today. YAY! There is nothing like a good sweat-dripping workout to numb the mind.

I will keep this blog updated. It is a good way to keep record of what's happening - the closest thing I've got to a journal. :) If somebody's reading it to keep in touch, that's even better.

Til later!

White Knights and Tail Feathers

2008-04-19T10:34:00.003-06:00

So here's what's happening. Cohen was given his first injection of neupogen yesterday at the hematologist's office. His Absolute Neutrophil Count was on its way down again, steadily decreasing over the past three weeks. He needed help defending his temple and we hope to get the little white buggers moving in his blood stream again.

Problem is, this stuff is taking a huge toll on him. He is moaning and crying a lot and that just sucks. We had to trade one problem for another and while I know we did what's best for him, I still hate seeing him so miserable. He wants to be held a lot. He'll be okay, though. He's learning how to be tough and if I try to look on the bright side, my biceps are getting a much-needed workout lately. :) I read online that this medication can cause deep aching bone pain and grown adults have been known to squirm with the pain, but they assured me one shot probably wouldn't be that painful; based on his response, I'm not as sure as they are.

On top of that, last night we had our first (and hopefully last!) nerve-racking experience losing his G-tube button, or as I've called it before, the gateway to his gut. Luckily we noticed before too much time went by - they say you only have twenty or thirty minutes to get it back in before it starts closing up, which means no food until they can sedate him and insert a new one again and all that surgery entails. Yeah, I was sweatin' it. We found the button in my Aunt's lap (she was holding him at the time) and I quickly popped it back in and tried to fill up the balloon -- to no avail. Looks like it popped somehow. As luck would have it, I just put it in a week ago and hadn't yet received my spare (these things can last up to a year the GI doc tells me, though I don't think I'd want to risk that), so off to the ER we went with tape holding it in place and me checking constantly to make sure it didn't fall back out again. So, this dragged on for a while: what would have taken ten minutes at home took an hour and a half of lovely ER time (not the place you want to be with a child who's neutropenic, right?) with wonderful company in the form of poor wracking, coughing, burning up children ripe with virus and fertile enough to share. Yikes. And while I felt bad for those parents and kids, I still found chairs as far away- and as isolated - as possible.

Today, he's acting weak and agitated and he looks pale as a ghost, but we have our follow up appointment Monday to recheck his count and see how he's doing so I guess I can ask more questions of the doc then and hang in there in the meantime. I just wish I could make this go away. What a nightmare. Why are so many children suffering so much nowadays? What is happening?

At least the weather is absolutely beautiful out here. Hannah had dance today. They're learning a dance for the big recital in June. They're going to be chickens. Yes, chickens. Not just any chickens, either, but "Groovy" and "Far Out" chickens. Guess there is a difference. Cool.

When I signed my kid up for this, I have to say I never imagined the chickens. Their costumes are so fluorescent, I'm sure they'll glow in the dark and the feathers on their head pieces are true show girl material. Guess you can't always be a princess in ballet class. :( Surprisingly, their dance is cuter than I expected, so I guess it'll all work out in the end. One of the young dads was saving the words to the song in his phone so his daughter could practice at home. I wanted to ask him if he'd be singing the song for her. That would be too funny.

Hope you are all doing well! California is only two months away! YAY! Can't wait to see west coast beach again, and friends and family too :) I miss everyone.

Till later!

Hangin' in There!

2008-04-10T10:33:00.007-06:00

I will try to post more, I promise. There really is no excuse, except for that I've been hard at work writing and researching that I forget to post as well. I have joined a four week community writing course and tonight will be my third meeting, so I am always rushing to finish something to share at the class...

As for us, things have definitely mellowed out here over the past few days.

Cohen has been limping a lot on his left leg. Sometimes, he has trouble walking at all. We're not sure why this is becoming such a constant issue for him. We had it x-rayed and the images showed nothing concerning. It's another big mystery for this little guy. He has good days and not so good days, but his health seems to be stable so we will deal with the limp...for now.

I can say this because there are other tests in the works for Cohen and I'm hoping they might indicate something we can begin to treat. We went to the metabolic/genetic doctor we have been waiting FOREVER to see on Tuesday, and although we had to drive over an hour to get to him, it was well worth the drive. We were not disappointed.

The visit lasted two and a half hours and he was very straightforward and honest, no matter what questions I asked. I LOVE THAT! I'm so tired of doctors who try to sugarcoat everything instead of just giving it like it truly is.

So we will wait at least a week for results. Tomorrow, we go back to the hematologist to check Cohen's WBC count. If his ANC is below 1,000, we will start him on medication to stimulate his WBC production, although I have a feeling his numbers will be fine. He seems fairly comfortable right now.

As for the other two kiddos:

Hannah is doing very, very well. She is getting back to her old happy, playful self. The potty-training seems to be finally clicking and if we continue to remind her to go, she does and is fairly independent. For the first time after being a parent for over nine years, I can hand my kid clothes and ask her to get dressed. I can have her pick up her messes and she insists on brushing her teeth and flossing every night before bed. The future is beginning to look a bit easier... :)

Jenna is still our accident-prone child. She got a huge lump below her kneecap - probably happened climbing the jungle gym contraption on the playground at school. When I dug my finger in to feel around, my kid just sat there looking at me and sighed. Huh. I would do a whole heck of a lot more than sigh if someone was doing that to me!!! I'm not sure she feels it as much as I would, which may explain her lack of complaint, or limp for that matter. It is an ugly purple color and looks incredibly painful. Anyways, the swelling went down a little this morning, but if it is still swollen this afternoon we might have to take her to the doctor.

And finally there is Craig, who must have handed down the whole accident-prone thing to his daughter. A few days ago, Hannah wanted to play hide-n-seek, so Craig lay hidden on the couch as she counted. When she ran out of the room to find him, he quickly sat up and scrambled to jump over the back of the couch. You know what's coming, don't you?

Since when do you try to jump over the tallest part of something? To his credit, he almost made it, but caught his big toe on the highest curve of the couch-back and landed awkwardly on his butt on the other side.

The first thing he yells out?

Ow-ow-ow, I broke a nail!

I broke a nail?! I could not stop laughing.

To make up for giving my husband a hard time: Saturday, he was out working hard in the yard and the girls thought it was the perfect opportunity to catch some sunshine.

Our grass had begun to grow little foreign sprouts, so it was time to mow them down.

Our diva-child in the messy garage - hey, we did just move...uhum.

Hannah enjoys all of the toys Jenna received years ago, jeep included.

Jenna, on the other hand...
Loves looking at the very few flowers we actually have in our pathetically sparce flower bed.

Not to be distracted too long by any one toy, Hannah moves quickly from the jeep to the tricycle, yet another remnant from Jenna's younger years.

And just when I started thinking how sad it was that Hannah was enjoying all of Jenna's toys...

Jenna climbs on into her Jeep and becomes the only child to actually push the gas pedal to make it go.

We were only too happy to help her with the steering.

Till later!

Home Sweet Home

2008-03-27T04:22:00.004-06:00

We came home yesterday - YAY! I am so glad to be back. Now, if I could just get Jenna to sleep at night again :( She seems to be having some difficulties of her own lately, but I think she'll be okay. If it wasn't for the seizures, I don't think I'd worry as much, although she hasn't had a major one in over a year.

We have an action plan for Cohen, though, which made me feel much better coming home this time. The hematologist is back on board and he is probably going to perform a bone marrow biopsy. Cohen's ANC (Absolute Neutrophil Count) has reached some all-time lows. As I understand, the normal numbers are as follows: 1000-1500 =mild neutropenia (slightly higher risk of infection than normal); 500-1000=moderate neutropenia (moderate risk of infection); 0-500=severe neutropenia (danger!)

Cohen's numbers went like this: Sat - 400; Sun - 207; Mon - 2400 (YAY - he looks great!); Tues - 1170; Wed - 760...

A great big bell curve. We were released with him at the moderate level, and I worry that he is not through dropping again; he was on a downward trend so it seems a logical concern. We are told to be careful - no crowds, no shopping carts with germy residual... We see the hematologist within the next week and he will test Cohen's blood again. Then there's my two other kids - Hannah who wears her infection on her skin, the most convenient place to "share" with others, and Jenna who attends school and catches whatever's going around then comes home and drools and bites her hand and touches things around her, including all of us. How do I keep things from spreading through our household? From spreading to Cohen?

I went back through Cohen's medical records and I found a few instances where his Granulocytes had dropped quite a bit, one that was even flagged LP, which I think means "Low Panic" - as in danger, alert! I didn't even know this happened, but this was in January, his last visit to the hospital when he had the abscess in his chest wall.

I don't know what all of this means yet but it is so frustrating to not know. Maybe this issue with white blood cells will resolve itself and not become part of whatever is challenging him so much. My heart goes out to the millions of parents who have gone through this discovery process and found themselves with a neverending stream of questions and the desperate search for answers, for a way to help. I want to take his pain from him and I want him to be happy. Last night was great. He looked so thrilled - and relieved! - to be home again. He is doing well, walking all over the living room (his IV was in his foot, so he was a sitting duck for a few days), and I am so thankful we are all home together again.

RIP Daisy

August 9, 2002 - March 24, 2008

Little princesses can have wings...

An Easter Apart...

2008-03-23T09:44:00.009-06:00

As I sit here, Hannah is eating way too much candy for her own good and Jenna is so excited because she knows there's something special about today (umm, maybe because we're acting like over-animated fools to convey that to her) and she is dancing around the living room talking to herself in an endearingly LOUD voice.

I had planned on going to church to remember the reason for today, but plans have a way of changing.

Yesterday started off wonderfully. I took Hannah to dance only to remember that dance was not happening this weekend - DUH! - but I had to drive up to the studio to see the big notice taped in the door to remember and then I chastised myself for being a total space cadet (there was another car doing the same drive up/drive off thing, so at least I wasn't the only one). Thank goodness I had the enticement of a birthday party to distract Hannah from her missed day of bonding with pint-sized ballerinas and twirling amidst the orchestrated chaos of a dance class full of three year olds. The birthday party was at a farm nearby where they host events - one of Hannah's ballerina clones was celebrating her transition into three-year-old mania. Given Hannah's irrational fear of small animals, I thought going to a farm might not go over so well. I needn't have worried. She rode the pony - twice! - and laughed. We even went into the goat pen together and she was loving it until one of the goats got testy and head-butted her in the tummy when she got near, knocking her on her butt and totally freaking her out.

There's something about Texas: every party has to have a pinata. One of the other parties hung up a monstrous contraption boasting Big Bird and Elmo and Cookie Monster (I think) in a hot air balloon, and the attendees gathered in front for a picture. I heard someone calling Hannah's name and I turned around. Hannah was standing in line with the kids in the front row, smiling brightly for the camera, the only blonde kid in a group of hispanic guests. They didn't even try to get her out of the picture. My kid is brilliant; that pinata must have had a couple of gallons of candy in it.

We joked that someday maybe Hannah would become famous and whoever has that picture will try to sell it on ebay, saying I knew her when...

:)

Certainly she has no qualms about being in the limelight, although she looked disdainful and slightly embarrassed when I told her to leave the party and wait for the pinata that would come from the party she was actually there to attend. "Mom, it's okay, mom," she muttered with a frown as she sulked past me.

I should back up here and say that Cohen has not been feeling well. He was running a fever of 102 for about three days and I had just gotten over the flu so I assumed that he might have caught it, too. Yesterday, he was fever free but definitely not better. He would barely walk anymore and he wanted to be held alot and the screaming banchee returned to his throat. Then we noticed little blisters at the base of his pointer finger. We thought maybe he had gotten another staph infection under the skin, or maybe the cold sore virus...again.

I wasn't going to mess around. He was hobbling pretty severely by yesterday afternoon, limping on his left leg and his left eyelid seemed to droop. Off to the ER.

They swabbed his nose to check for the flu. Negative. They lanced and swabbed a blister - we'll have the results tomorrow. Most importantly, they drew blood. The ER doc mentioned that his blood indicated a struggle of some sort. We waited until 1:30 in the morning to go upstairs to a room, where Cohen remains at this time with his daddy, whom I am about to go relieve. The nurse who asks a whole boat-load of questions upon admittance tells me he is neutropenic - which means his white blood cell count is, according to the doctor this morning "exceptionally low." It seems his blood is indicating, somehow, that not only is he fighting something viral, but something bacterial as well. The nurses cannot enter his room without mask and gown, there is a warning on his door stating he is neutropenic and no one is admitted prior to speaking with the nursing staff, he cannot have fresh flowers in his room or have his temp taken rectally or if he was eating, he could not eat fresh fruit, all because his immune system is compromised. They will draw blood every morning until they see improvement, but this morning's draw did not show any improvement. I worry for him but I know he is in the right place. If I look at the bright side, I guess I could say at least he gets a private room - it could be worse, right?

These infections are not normal. The doctors are beginning to make statements about an immune system problem but I thought we'd already ruled that out. I'm so confused.

On the way home last night, or rather this morning, I stopped off at Wal-Mart and picked up some last minute goodies, some eggs and egg dye, so the Easter Bunny stopped by after all, though I'm still bummed about missing church - but at this point, I don't know where I should even take Cohen anymore and if crowds of people pose a health risk. We just finished dying the eggs and now I get to trade places with Craig so he can orchestrate the hunt with the girls. That way, at least both of us get to participate with them even if it's one at a time. I am so thankful my Aunt is staying with us. Things would be so much harder without her.

I scheduled a flight to Cali before all of this went down because I want to be there for family members who are going through a heartbreaking experience at the moment and now I'm not sure when Cohen will be released and if I'll even be able to go. My son needs his mommy here, and my heart agrees. I can reschedule, though it'll cost me 50 bucks, in addition to the $500 hospital bill I know will come in the mail a few weeks after Cohen is released. A nurse at the desk saw me when I went to leave and asked how I was doing. She must have remembered Cohen's 19 day stint in October because she said hopefully he won't be here as long as that other time. I am praying like crazy, cuz I just might have to jump off a very high building - maybe the top floor of the parking garage? - if he stays as long as that (Don't call the shrinks - I'm just kidding...I think!)

On the way out of Wal-Mart my headlights swung on a family of deer across the street. How beautiful they were in the midst of a sleepless city. I almost cried at the sight of them there, together like they should be.

When is all of this going to end? I am so melodramatic today, sorry. I hope you have (or had, probably) a wonderful Easter. God Bless!

Hi! I'm here...

2008-03-21T06:51:00.004-06:00

Hey there. I know, it's been a while.

A lot has happened, really. A lot besides health issue stuff, if you can believe that! We had company this past weekend - my beautiful, young at heart Grandma from Cali and her trusty Cajun man, my Aunt and her hubby and cousins. Finally, we had the opportunity to share some of the extra space around here and it was great. I love seeing family; they help make our house a home.

We went to the traditional touristy locations and more importantly, we spent time together and talked.

Then I took Hannah to see High School Musical on Ice with her best friend and mom. The girls had a great time although it was a long walk from parking to the show and amazingly crowded. Our seats were pretty good and although Hannah didn't know what to make of all that high-pitched screaming and flashing lights, it didn't take her long to warm up. We've caught a couple of figure skating competitions on TV and she claims she wants to ice skate. I wonder how she'll feel when she hits the ice and finds out it's STONE-COLD and HURTS when you fall?? :)

Yes, I have pictures but that'll have to wait for the next post.

Next news: Cohen's therapy services were temporarily put on "follow up on him and wait a while" mode. We all agreed, so don't think they're taking something away from us that I'm demanding or anything. The therapists think that right now, Cohen is in "survival mode" and unpredictably intolerant to therapy. He's basically one cranky buddy who doesn't feel like playing when they try to work with him and they feel like we need to tackle the health issues before he can even absorb the therapy. I agree, but it really sucks when your poor kid is so miserable all the time that it interferes with, well, life in general.

He had his annual IFSP and they asked me various age-appropriate questions like is he throwing things and watching for them to fall? Is he kicking a ball? Is he stacking objects? Is he pretending with cars and trucks? Does he say any words, besides ma-ma (the only word in his vocab so far).

The answer? A resounding, heart-sinking NO. A big, fat, gut-heavy NEGATIVE.

I guess moments like this really hit those of us blissfully ignoring passing milestones by just loving our kids and appreciating what they can do. Moments like this also make me wanna crawl in bed and bawl. WHHAAAH! I'm okay, really, just...sad. We determined that mostly he just wants to walk around and flap things back and forth in front of his face. Okay guys, I know what this sounds like and what you *might* be thinking. I'm praying that on top of his gut-issue, whatever that may be, that he has not acquired some form of Autism. I'm not really entertaining it, but it is an emerging big black BUG on my windshield. I'm praying and hoping for the best. Our appointment with one of the leading Metabolic geneticists is on the 31st of this month. I really hope he holds the key to our locked door. And then I really hope I don't get my hopes dashed again. :(

Finally:

After counting last night, I am on word 52,251 of my book. Our story. Writing is good therapy, really. So that is why I haven't been posting as much these days. Every available minute (and there've been few and far between) I've been pounding the keyboard like crazy.

I'm hoping by sharing, something good can come of all of this. Maybe we can help someone with what we've been through. Sounds so cliche, doesn't it? Oh well. Then again, maybe I'll be the only one to read it, me and a handful of agents who reject it. ;) Keep your fingers crossed.

Hope you are all happy and well!

Till later.

All Hail the Tonsil Troll!

2008-02-28T11:16:00.004-06:00

The tonsil troll took something away from my beautiful, chronically strep-infected child; as of 10am yesterday, Hannah is tonsil-less.

Everything went very well, as long as I try really hard not to remember Hannah's reaction just before, or immediately after, her surgery! :)

As soon as we took her back to the pre-op room and she saw the stark white, metal-railed beds lined up in an impersonal row practically glowing in the harsh fluorescent light, she freaked. And you could forget about removing her clothes and wrapping her in the sheet-like hospital gown, no matter how many cute little yellow ducks were swimming all over its water-blue expanse.

She's definitely no fool, y'all.

Craig and I, along with the nurse, held her down to squeeze thick, goopy valium-syrup into her uvula-vibrating mouth, pushing her bottom jaw against her top every so often and blowing in her face like lunatics to try and get her to swallow. I thought her straining neck veins were about to explode out of her skin like a cable fraying and busting loose.

I desperately fought my paranoia, hiding behind a level-headed facade, while I secretly wondered if this outburst wasn't ominous, somehow.

Another nurse came and whisked her away in foreign arms and I kept picturing Hannah as she clung to this woman like a koala in her delirium, not knowing what awaited her just beyond the double doors and down the hall.

I didn't even get to be there for her final descent into gas-induced slumber. Now you'd think I wouldn't be quite this melodramatic given my own medical history of like, two dozen surgical procedures, including the one Hannah just went through, and my other two children's history as well, but, well, we've been going through a lot lately and that's my excuse. Emotional overload!

I wrung my hands in the waiting room and waited, gradually relaxing as I prayed that I'd done the right thing. Amazingly, time flew by and suddenly the doctor was sitting next to me, telling me she was doing great, surgery went fabulously, and he had removed some very ucky, quite-infected tonsils. This, despite the fact that she'd been on her 8th day of antibiotics.

He said with all things considered - the relentless infection in her skin and the recurring strep - maybe she has an immune issue. Something to think about if she continues to get strep (yes, even without her tonsils). We're looking into some things right now I told him and he nodded, like that made sense. ?

Recovery was long and dramatic. Hannah took her time coming out of it, and her Oxygen Saturation dropped a bit, which didn't bug me until the anesthesiologist bustled in and insisted that the nurse put the oxygen mask back on her.

Hannah was not too happy with us. On the drive home, she kept drifting in and out of sleep, confused. We got her a frosty because she insisted she was hungry and she tried ripping it out of my hands, first demanding that I make it into a drink (!?), then claiming ice cream was all over her legs when it wasn't, and finally wrestling me for the flimsy yellow cup until cold white lava squeezed up to the top and splattered all over me, her, the seat and the door. Fine, I said like a petulant child myself, make a mess. Go for it.

So she bends over and tries to drink from the end of the spoon.

Part of me felt sorry for her, but the other part of me found this absolutely hilarious. Finally, something funny to laugh about.

Hannah was pissed; her head spins until her face is inches from mine and her features scrunch into each other like a cabbage patch doll's, eyes narrowed. Then she snarls Don't laugh at me!

Sadly, that only made me laugh harder.

I said DON"TLAUGHATME!

This came out in a rush, grating against the back of her throat, a deep, gutteral growl. I cringed. Craig started to laugh from the safety of the driver's seat. Okay, mister, you asked for it, I thought, reaching around the seat and slathering the side of his face with the slippery white frosty coating my hand. He took it well, considering. By the time we got home, my fingers were sticking together and I was grossed out and slightly agitated.

The rest of the evening, Hannah clung to Auntie Joan a lot, not really too into mommy or daddy, at first - kids can definitely hold a grudge and mine wasn't too keen on the fact that we had led her to the cause of her pain. Finally, she relented and snuggled down into my arms and we both drifted off in blissful oblivion, her mouth moving up and down like a rabbit's nose (a weird effect of surgery?). I loved this time, even though I was too zonked to enjoy most of it. :)

Today, Hannah is acting like nothing happened. The only hint occurred this morning when she claimed there was a frog in her throat. I've been constantly lurking, telling her to stop running, don't jump like that, and for goodness sakes, don't forward roll so your neck scrunches in on itself like an accordian - that can't be good for your recovery! Doctor's orders: no running or jumping for two weeks. Oh yeah. Might as well tell a fish not to swim.

So Hannah's back in the running - HA!; the weather is absolutely beautiful; the windows in my family room are open to a refreshing breeze; Hannah's best friend stopped by earlier to bring her a new care bear, movie and handmade card; as I type this, I can hear Hannah's reassuring post-surgery snore through the baby monitor (Hooray for mommy time!!); and the world is slowly, slowly spinning still. I guess it never stopped :)

Life is good. For the most part ;)

Hope you are all well. Till later!

Eczema, or Werewolf?

2008-02-17T10:43:00.007-06:00

I feel like apologizing for my rant before I go ahead and get it out of my system. So if you're having a bad day like me, I'm sorry for the extra downer. Feel free to come back later, if ya want :)

First, we're trying to tackle Cohen's medical issues. He seems like he's getting sick again and I hope he handles it okay. I thought we could get further testing to follow up on the suspected diagnosis I mentioned in my last post, but NO! We are on hold people! Until when, you ask? Until people get their act together. This is not something to play around with and while I hope Cohen does not have what they think he might, I also want to RULE IT OUT. Immediately. Or as soon as possible. Instead we wait. We saw a geneticist, all right. But not one who secializes in metabolic disorders, which is what the hematologist suspects. And the only one in our area who specializes in said disorders is in between practices right now. although he's providing some basic consults over the phone. I am so frustrated. We are frustrated. In addition, the geneticist seemed more interested in our parents and siblings than in Cohen's siblings -- namely Hannah, who has begun to have some pretty major issues (again) and we are trying to find a link between the two. We went in to the appointment thinking maybe, just maybe, Hannah's issues might shed even more light on Cohen's and vice versa. If we're talking genetics, it makes sense, right? Well, we're just crazy parents so what do we know, anyways?

So our path to find Cohen help has gone like this:

Pediatrician to Developmental Specialist to Therapists to Opthalmologist to GI to Neurologist to Infectious Disease to Hematologist to Geneticist, and finally, hopefully, to Metabolic Disorder Geneticist.

And right now, Hannah looks like this:

Do you see this stuff? I mean, I know eczema can get bad and all, but she's actually trembling this morning, and there's blood all over the sheets from last night. What the heck? Can't people figure out what causes this? It's so painful for her and Cohen.

It's acutally oozing fluid, y'all. Like it has a life of its own down there in her pores.

And yes, we have her on anti-itch medication (my name for it) three times a day and we had her on steroid cream for three weeks, then stopped it because I know you can't keep slathering that stuff on, her skin needs a break. The DAY after I stop applying, it flares right back up to what you see above. What do we do? Yesterday, I actually tried applying some of her Aquaphor ointment (like vaseline, except more expensive, so why don't I just use vaseline then??? Who knows...) and wrapping her wrists and knees in Saran Wrap like burritos because, yes, she has the same stuff behind her knees and little puffy spots all over her legs and arms - even has it flaking on her forehead, behind her ears and on her eyelids. I'm going to take her back to the doctor and I'll probably feel like the idiot mom again but I'd say this qualifies as a "flare up," don't you?

I wish I could stop the pain. It sucks. I'm tired of feeling helpless.

And, well, on another note, I wanted to introduce you to Lizzie:

Her first night home and taking a bath upstairs, courtesy of Aunt Joan.

All done! Clean now and SANS smell, so I can stop snapping the pictures and take her from Aunt Joan :)

She's been a great dog so far, except she got sick and was hacking and throwing up a little bit. We already took her on her first trip to the vet, who thinks she picked up something before she got to us - "kennel cough?" - or maybe has allergies. She's on antibiotics now, in case. I can't believe it. I have another kid.

Sorry for the vent. Please pray for us as we continue our search for help and answers! We will be okay, I know it. I just wish it wasn't such a long road to a solution, treatment and relief!

Till later!

The Difficulty of Naming Things...

2008-02-09T10:47:00.000-06:00

So it finally happened and I caught this cold/flu bug. Can kids get it a second time around? The girls had it right after New Year's. I'm trying to be really careful because I don't want them to get sick again. Not fun!

New news on the diagnosis front. We have a possible diagnosis but it is not yet confirmed. We might know for sure sometime next week. We see the geneticist on Wed, so we should know more then, or soon after! Waiting is driving me nuts, but a few days is nothing compared to a few months, or at least that's what I keep telling myself :) I'd like to know what we're up against and what we need to do to help.

Since we don't know for sure, I'm not going to name it. At least not yet. But it is treatable, if it is what they say it might be, which is GREAT!

Kids are doing well right now. Cohen is toddling all around the living room - even trying to wadddle run!! - and is sleeping through the night in his crib! He is the first to sleep in his own room since living in our new house, and he's doing better up there than he was in the room with us - go figure! This is exciting. One down, two to go. Now if we can just get the girls to follow suit...

More news: we might adopt a puppy! A yellow lab with a little bit of something undetermined mixed in. A woman from the city was asking people from Craig's work if anybody would want a dog because they were going to be put to sleep soon. I'm nervous, but my aunt loves animals and knows how to train them so if it doesn't work out, she can take the puppy with her when she eventually leaves us (and this, I don't even want to contemplate!). We took Hannah to meet the puppy yesterday and she wasn't afraid like we thought she might be. She even giggled as she tentatively pet the wriggling body. The poor thing was so nervous it (she) kept sinking so low to the ground her belly touched the linoleum and she trembled a lot, but other than that, she seems very lovable, even wagging her tail for us when we pet her. We'll see. I always get nervous thinking about scooping up dog crap, but I've cleaned up my fair share of crap lately and it doesn't intimidate me like it once would have! :) I'm trying not to get the awww, wouldn't that be so cute! bug - ya know, the one that imagines everything fun and hygienic, with a loyal dog who plays nicely with the kids and fetches on demand, a dog who never chews on your stuff, never barks loud enough to annoy the neighbors, never actually needs expensive dog food to survive, never stinks of dirt after playing in the yard, and never actually pees and poops and then rolls around in it for fun - yay! -- I'm trying to go into all of this realistically, y'all!

The first time around as dog owners didn't work out so well for us, so this will be interesting... :) but I do think we have room in our hearts and household for another living being to love.

Craig made the mistake of telling Hannah to think of names. She wants Sarafina. Where does this name come from? I think it's a character on a Barbie movie, but I'm not 100% sure. And what made her think of this name when she hasn't watched Barbie in a while, I don't know. I could just see it, "Here Sarafina, come on Sarafina," or, umm... maybe not. We like Lizzie - don't ask me why! :) What do you think? Any suggestions? Should we let Hannah have her way? She insists so much I think she might actually call the dog by that name anyways, regardless of what we decide. Kids are so funny!

Hope you are happy and well!

Till later!

Change is Good

2008-02-03T08:02:00.000-06:00

I am always nervous about change. Being in limbo unnerves me. I am about to switch Hannah's school but I don't feel as happy about the decision as I thought I would. Part of my confusion comes from Hannah herself, who usually cries when I drop her off at school lately, but said she wanted to stay there on Friday when I went to give our two week notice. I think this will be a good change, but, well, I hope she thinks so too!

We've been checking out some schools and I decided to go look at one that a mom at dance recommended. This place is great. The kids are testing very well and it is an accredited private school so Hannah could go there until 5th grade if we wanted her to. And the price is not bad either.

But I'm struggling with potty training. I ditched the diapers yesterday (yet again!) and she did really, really well - except for one accident. I have a hard time with the clean up. After years of it with my oldest, I just wanna scream when I find the surprise! I think she resists because she sees her older sister still wearing pull-ups and getting diaper changes. I hope she does okay because she really needs to in order to go to the new school. Wish us luck. We have two weeks.

And this morning, I found Jenna awake in the bathroom with her pajama pants around her neck, singing away without a care in the world, and no diaper in sight. The smell led me to it, y'all. Not a pretty thing to wake up to in the morning, right? I think someone else might be ready to go on the potty soon. It's a very good sign that she's starting to realize she's got something in there and she wants it off! YAY!

This stuff is very, very expensive for us. Because Jenna is bigger, we have to buy the night-time pullups that end up pricing at a dollar per pullup. Then there are pullups for Hannah and Cohen's diapers. With diapers and wipes, we estimate $200-$250 per two week period. YIKES!

Can I just say that I hope Cohen is a potty-training GENIUS and learns very, very, quickly?! :)

The Evil Nature of Playstructures

2008-01-27T08:38:00.001-06:00

Something happened yesterday that I've had a hard time getting out of my head. I'm traumatized, y'all.

There are moments in life when you come face to face with one of your biggest fears and you find yourself with choices: a) run; b) cry; c) remain calm; d) stare it down; e) fight through it!

Sadly, I did not choose this moment to showcase my own strength; rather, I chose b. Well, didn't choose it really, it just happened that way.

So, first, picture this:

That's right. Playstructure. So much fun! Hannah loves it and we usually go Saturday mornings after dance class with some of her friends. Hannah is one of the brave ones who goes all the way up to the top and sits in that little bubble thing.

So yesterday, we went with two of her friends. Like usual, Hannah went immediately to the bubble - the same green one up there in the pic. While the other two moms went to get food, I agreed to watch the kids.

As I'm watching, smiling and waving, one of her friends comes in with her. How cute, I think, as they sit there together and navigate with the steering wheels. Then, I watch as the other little girl reaches behind Hannah's head, grabs her entire pony tail and yanks. Hard. Hannah's head snaps back so I can see her vulnerable little neck. My heart jumps. Okay, I think, not such a big deal if it only happens once. I make excuses: The other little girl has short, dark hair - maybe she just likes Hannah's long, strawberry blonde hair. So I give her the benefit of the doubt.

In the aftermath, Hannah looks shocked, and a little hurt, but she rubs the top of her head and does not cry. Just as my breathing returns to normal, the other little girl reaches out and does it again, except even harder. Hannah starts to cry. I run over to the bottom and yell up the tube - Hannah come down here. Come on baby! But she's crying and I don't know if she can hear me. Then, she starts crying harder. I back up and look up at the bubble again and am horrified at what I see. This girl is whaling on my kid. Drawing her little fist back high above her head and crashing it down on my kid's head over and over, each time eliciting a scream from Hannah.

She's hurting my child and I can't get to them to break it up. I'm numb with panic.

I go over to the bottom again and yell while weighing the consequences of climbing up in there myself. Hannah starts to mellow out. I back up and look up into the bubble and see her trying to leave, but the other little girl is in her way and I see that little dagger-fist raise again. I run over to the bottom again as my kid screams and yell, _____ STOP HITTING HER! STOP HITTING HANNAH! I'm crying and other people are coming over. One mom offers to send her tiny, skinny teenage daughter up there to get her and I say Please! So she heads up and I back up and try to see as my kid screams again. By this time, Hannah is on the ground, so I can't really see her, but I can see the other little girl above her.

What the---???

The other girl's mom comes in with food and takes one look at my face, streaming with tears, and asks What's wrong? Are you okay?

Now, excuse my melodramatic answer, but I said, through tears, your kid is beating the crap out of mine!

She looks stunned, then rushes to put her food down and heads into that tiny tube herself. She comes out clutching my kid, who's clinging to her and crying. I grab her and take her into a corner and sink into a chair.

I am still in shock. Hannah actually has some small bruises on the side of her forehead now. I think this whole thing was way more terrifying because I could not get up there, had to watch and struggle for calm when I just wanted to scream and STOP THE MADNESS. I was powerless. And my kid was scared and hurting. And I have an imagination that sometimes becomes my biggest enemy!

The other mom cried. She apologized. She, like me, could not eat her food. She was in shock, did not know her kid could do something like that. But get this: her kid got a mild "talking to." This mom DID NOT remove her child from the situation. In fact, her kid sat in close proximity to mine while we all tried to eat and I acted like I was okay with it. WHAT IS HAPPENING TO PARENTING NOWADAYS?

To give this kid credit, she really is - usually - such a sweet little girl. She's so petite and cute and quiet. But, up there in that bubble, she looked as if she KNEW there was no one there but her and my child, and she took full advantage of that fact. She let a fury loose up there, y'all. Maybe it's true what they say: it's the quiet ones ya have to worry about.

I don't know how I'll look at this other little girl anymore. I gave the mom a hug and told her not to worry about it - it was done. But is it? I know I don't ever want to risk that happening again, so I don't think we'll be going back to that play structure with the other little girl there. I know kids sometimes snap and have their moments, so maybe I should just wash this under the bridge, but I just hope I can. And then I hope this little girl NEVER, EVER touches my kid again.

To make up for it, the OTHER little girl who was there (and who is now Hannah's best friend), her mom, Hannah and I all went to see a movie at the movie theater yesterday afternoon. YAY for the movies and popcorn and candy! :) It makes everything all better!

Except, Hannah whimpered a lot in her sleep last night and I couldn't help wondering if she was feeling the brutal hand of that other little girl all over again.

And that sucks, cuz once again, I was in a position where I could not help her.

We'll be alright. We just have to teach her how to defend herself, my husband says. Maybe we'll get her into a karate class soon :)

Bug Off!

2008-01-25T09:42:00.000-06:00

My house is quiet.

Both girls are at school and Cohen is sleeping.

Wish it could be like this more often. *sigh* Someday... right?

So I get this letter from Jenna's school yesterday. Anything beyond a three day abscence for illness is considered unexcused unless I supply a doctor's note - standard law, I know, but oh boy! This is going to be fun when all three of my kids get into the school system! So here's why she was home: last weekend, Jenna started to get extremely irritable and ANGRY with anybody within venting distance. She does not understand when she's sick and she tends to let everybody know she's NOT HAPPY! Well, being the sensitive mom that I am :) I kept her home on Monday and scheduled a doctor's appointment for Tuesday. In the meantime, Jenna developed a bad cough at night when we went to lay her down. Monday night, she poked her finger into her ear several times, so I figured she had - as the doctor likes to say - monkeys in there. Tuesday the doctor confirms it - both ears infected. We pick up antibiotics and head on home to start them that evening. She's still battling the ear Wed and I figure antibiotics take at least 24 hours, right? So I keep her home. She's also still NOT HAPPY. We're exhausted and would love to ship her off on Thursday with the big yellow bus; however, she began to blow big green bullets from her nose constantly and I figured one look at that goo, and the folks at school would be calling me to pick her up, and being the nice person that I am :) I didn't want her to pass germs along to everyone in her class, so I kept her home Thursday. On Friday, same thing, except now she sleeps - a lot! For hours. I'm feeling very happy with myself because I decided to keep her home one more day and she obviously needs it!

So now, this letter, sicking the state laws on me. Youch! Here I am, trying to keep my kid from spreading this stuff around - like we need more sickness at school, right? - and giving my kid time to actually recoup and I feel like a bad mom! Like I'm lazy or something for not sending my kid off to school. Believe me, lazy would have been sending her, not keeping her home! It was a rather miserable week - for all of us!

Allright. So I called the doctor's office and spoke to someone there about getting a note. Office girl starts barraging me with questions - trying to CALL ME OUT, maybe? Hey, I feel like shouting, from now on I'll send my kid, sick or not, so the school can make the call - and possibly catch flying bugs in the meantime!!! Instead, I patiently (I think) tried to explain that my daughter has a disability - mild CP, brain disorder and seizure disorder - and not only goes down hard, but is more likely to have seizures if we push her when she's down. Last year, she had a major one this time of year at the tale end of a virus. It's like I have to justify my parental decision to keep her home and that SUCKS. So now, I wait for the doctor to approve the note and I will probably have to go pick it up at the office and hand deliver it to the school - one more thing to interrupt the PEACE AT LAST component of my day. That's my vent. Sorry. It's just... well, don't these people understand that sometimes they make you feel like you should just go ahead and send your kid anyways? Which, I bet, is exactly what some parents end up doing rather than hassle with a doctor's note or explanations!

I know they're just doing their jobs and this is just a form letter that everybody gets, but still...

I really dislike this time of year because illness sucks the life out of everyone! Nearly everyone I talk to is sick or has sick kids and some kids get sick for so long! Just after New Year's all three of my kids got sick from a 24 hour bug that really did last 24 hours for the other four families from our circle of friends but knocked my kids out for nearly two weeks. So, like I said, I will have fun when all three kids are in school, though I can hope their immune systems get stronger by then.

For their sake and for my sanity ;)

Wishing you all health, and if you happen to be battling something already, a SPEEDY recovery!

Till later!

Home Again

2008-01-08T16:56:00.000-06:00

Just a brief post to say Cohen has been home since Wed afternoon. He was sent home with so many prescriptions I had to create a med chart for him so we could get it straight. There are 7 medications, all taken at different frequencies, some referigerate, some not. Two once a day, a few three times a day, one every eight hours and one every four. But if they help him I can't complain.

Yesterday he started to run a fever and moaned in his sleep. Last night he woke up screaming in pain. Keep your fingers crossed today is a great day! We don't want to go back there again! But we'll do what we have to do, of course, to help him cuz I'll never - NEVER - get used to seeing him in pain like that.

I am so proud of our guy. He is a trooper and I write and keep record because someday I want him to know what he went through and remember what a strong little boy he is.

At the hospital with a beautiful smile for mommy!

So handsome!

Til later!

Back to...There

2008-01-05T16:14:00.000-06:00

Cohen is back in the hospital again.

He had an abscess in his chest wall that needed to be removed, so they rushed him into surgery this morning after a grueling 14 HOURS in the ER yesterday. Man, I love that place...

He is doing well, but we have to pack the abscess sight with stuff to keep it dry and clean for a few days - an open wound, not pretty! Craig says with this new scar and his G-Tube scar, he'll look like a gunshot victim some day and have quite the story to tell. So not funny?! Have to find the humor somewhere...

Not sure what in the heck is going on. Looking for answers but still not getting any. So frustrating. They deal with this all the time, they say. Well, not us, I want to scream!!! Too much, too fast in the past 8 months...

His lymph node was swollen so they biopsied it and sent it out to see if anything strange is going on. What wouldn't be strange at this point?

For the past few days, he's been increasingly fussy, crying a lot, went ballistic if you tried to grab him under the arms to pick him up, or, well, tried to touch him anywhere for that matter - this usually got worse when his new nerve-pain medicine would start to wear off before his next dose. He barely slept, we barely slept and I worried a lot. Faith, I tell myself. Gotta have it at times like these, but it's hard.

Then, we noticed what looked like a jumbo-sized marble sticking out from his chest wall yesterday morning. Went to the doc - she was puzzled and called ahead to ER; she didn't mess around. She even went so far as to say: "mom, you've been right about this kiddo each time he's had a problem and you need to know that your instincts are right on." Wow, a doctor that compliments the worried parent. Novel concept!

The nurse in the ER wasn't so encouraging, however. Had to tell her to back down and quit being rude after she got snippety with me. My son was breaking into hives and screaming his head off. Hello?! Something's not right. She tried to tell me I needed to listen to her - didn't even give me a chance to say anything - and I told her I wanted a new nurse. She says sorry, we're having a rough night and I said but so are we.

!!!

Nasty nurse turned nice nurse and we all had happy, fuzzy feelings. Not really, but ya know ;) Didn't have to tell her again. Wish it worked that well with children - HA!

Anyways, he can probably come home in a few days, but here we go again. I feel like a wrestler in a ring, tired but fighting. DING, DING, DING. Round number...well...lost count :(

Wish us luck and prayers always appreciated! :) Hope you are happy and well...

So this is Christmas...

2007-12-30T19:21:00.000-06:00

Christmas was hectic this year. We moved mid-December, had my parents out a few days later and celebrated Craig and Jenna's birthdays and a special early Christmas with the grandparents all in one day! Whew! Sad to say, I was actually looking forward to rounding up the Christmas stuff and packing it back up this year. Poof! It was gone within two days of Christmas and now I'm trying to clear out some moving boxes... a neverending project for a family that has moved 14 times in 10 years - WOW, I hadn't even thought about that before now, but aren't we NUTS??? Seriously!

So, we started Christmas two days before the 25th. Craig and I treated ourselves to an early Christmas gift: a day away from home and an opportunity to actually sleep - we rented a hotel room and relaxed for a few hours. Yes, I know this sounds WEIRD considering we have a great big new house with all kinds of space, but all three of our kids have a hard time sleeping, so when my head hits the pillow, I never know what I'll wake up to, or when. Getting out of the house for a day and lounging around somewhere is absolute HEAVEN for us! Then, we hit the stores to finish up some gifts.

That night, I wrapped until 2am. While I was wrapping upstairs, everyone was busy downstairs making cookies for Santa, the Dentist Elf (from Rudolph! ??? Go figure...), and Rudolph himself.

Then Hannah made Christmas cards to leave for Santa, the Dentist Elf, and Rudolph - with a little help from Daddy. Aren't they cute? ;)

The next day was Christmas eve and we headed out of town for a 12 acre, drive-through holiday light display. We played Chritmas music and Hannah loved it once we woke her up, cuz she always falls asleep in the car! Jenna was upset because we turned off the TV, but she calmed down and looked out her window at the pretty lights, too. Cohen slept through a lot of it, but he's too short to see this year anyways. :) We packed a picnic dinner and ate while we drove through and it was actually a lot of fun! All three kids contained and BELTED IN and woo-hoo, off we went!

I tried to get a picture of Jenna and Cohen...His hands and the top of her head - see her way back there? - were about the best I could do from the front seat :)

When we got back, Hannah indulged in some hot chocolate and we all watched Rudolph after lighting the fire for the first time in our new fireplace. Then, we set up the princess Christmas tree in the room as a night-light, got the girls in their Christmas jammies, and then finally - FINALLY - they went to bed. Cohen, on the other hand, joined us late into the night... not to mention Hannah's constant fitfulness - I was just sure she'd catch Santa in the act of setting up her new Kitchen! :) Speaking of...

VOILA! Complete with two adorable aprons a friend and I found that say "Domestic Diva" and "Diva-In-Training" (NOT that I consider myself a domestic diva or anything...)
A tea party just waiting for little hands to come along and BREAK, ummm, I mean, PLAY with it! And an inflatable basketball set for Jenna.

Gameroom done, now for downstairs and arranging gifts under the tree. And finally, FINALLY, done. Note the time!!! Hey, 3's not THAT bad, right? Could've been worse. Could have stayed up for sunrise...

And yes, this is laziness, people. Or burnout! Lots of little stuff that just wouldn't wrap easily got thrown into great big, awkward stockings instead of cute little ones... Santa, you lazy man, you! ;)

Christmas morning brought lots of gifts, lots of fun, and lots of MESS - but that's okay. I grinned through my teeth and cringed behind my smile ;) We had an un-traditional spaghetti dinner cuz the girls love spaghetti and went to bed tired, but happy...until a child woke up in the once-quiet of night. AAAAHHHH... LIFE continues! :)

Will post more pics later today...hopefully. :)

Look Who's Nine!

2007-12-22T23:15:00.001-06:00

Happy Birthday, Jenna! My firstborn is 9 years old now - I can hardly believe it! I was going to post some pictures of her as a baby (copying the idea from a friend...) but I don't know where all of my pictures are yet...so much unpacking left to do!!

We celebrated Jenna's birthday last week when my parents were in town from California. It's always tough to know what will make Jenna happy on her birthday without feeling like a parental HEEL because we don't go all out. There's a reason: Usually, Jenna does not pay much attention to gifts, goes absolutely POSTAL in crowds of people and does not react well to major b-day hooplas, however well intended! This year, she actually opened her gifts (with a little bribing) and played with them!! The festivities went something like this:

1. Open first gift.

She's doing great! Interested in the packages and happy to please everyone while meanwhile, we are all clapping and cheering her on.

2. Yay First Gift! So much fun! Everyone's clapping and I'm so happy!3. Okay, onto another gift. Then another. Interest is waning a bit, but she's still game... sorta. :)

4. Okay, y'all. That's it. I'm out! TV's calling to me...or rather, I'm yelling for it! :)

5. US: Hurry, put the cake up there. Quick. Now clap and make lots of noise, silly faces, get her attention. We have to get to the cake, it's a b-day party MUST!

JENNA: Okay, now this is something. Looks so yummy I'm licking my lips and SALIVATING all over my shirt! ;)

By the way, my mommy is the BEST CHEF EVER when it comes to b-day cakes, and hey, I know it doesn't look like the ones in the bakery, but LOOKS CAN BE DECEIVING! (Well, okay, maybe Mommy's going out on a limb here... )

6. Jenna! Jenna!??

Something you don't see in the pic: crazy grown-ups jumping around the kitchen, hands raised in the air like adult-sized toddlers, looking for all the world like they had too many spiked egg-nogs because that's INTERESTING to Jenna!!!

Wasn't long before she joined in.

Hannah, too: Hey, maybe if I raise my hands in the air, they'll clap for me too, even though it's not my birthday! YAY me!

A present that says it all. *see #4

Jenna playing with her gifts. She loved her new pink movie chair and doodle pad.

Happy birthday to Daddy, too! We celebrated his the same night (Dec. is a busy month for us!).

And since Grandma and PAPA were only in town for one more day, we had to fit in a special Christmas celebration in as well. :)

Below: Hannah's waiting for her turn in the spotlight ;)

Hannah loved this game where paper "butterflies" shot out of a big tall elephant nose while she ran around and tried to catch them in her net. Meanwhile, Jenna loved rubbing her nose on the TV, literally: yes, great for her eyesight, I know. We try to catch it but she sidles up when we aren't looking...

Foreground: Cohen loved the little ride-on toy he got. Background: Papa and Daddy put together MANLY b-day gifts.

Look, everyone, my new trick: NO HANDS!

Look, Ma, I'm-- Woah! Uh-oh...steady, steady...okay, there we go. Whew! I got this!

Much less successful group shot than in my last post:

Cohen is not happy.

It was a wonderful night. Jenna had a great birthday and I couldn't have been happier.

We'll miss you Grandma and PaPa!

Till later!

I'm Impressed

2007-12-21T15:21:00.000-06:00

Let's just say I was a little nervous when I thought about switching Jenna's school again. Well, like it or not, she started her new school two weeks ago and I waited and watched to see how she'd react - she's not a big fan of change. Well, I'm impressed. She seems to be adjusting very well. They have her on a very particular schedule - which they actually sent me a copy of so I could see how her day goes - but they don't seem like they have unrealistic expectations if she has an "off" day.

Sample schedule:

7:45-8:00 Breakfast

8:00-8:30 Desk Work

8:30-8:50 Small Group

8:50-9:35 Specials (rotates from computer, PE, Art, PE, Music, PE)

9:35-10:00 Calendar (date, days, month, holidays, seasons, weather...)

10:00-10:30 Recess/Restroom

10:30-10:45 Snack

10:45-11:15 Grooming (Teacher asked for toiletry items so they could work on self-grooming skills - AWESOME CONCEPT!!!)

11:15-11:45 Desk Work

11:50-11:55 Restroom/prepare for lunch

11:55-12:30 Lunch in cafeteria

12:30-1:00 Adaptive PE (special ed PE) or Movement Activity and Song Choice *probably Jenna's favorite part of the day :)

1:00-1:30 Unit Activity

1:30-2:10 Kitchen Time

2:10-2:20 Reward Time

2:20-2:30 Vocational/Chores

2:30-2:35 Get ready to go home!

What a schedule, right? So this is proof positive that for FIVE days out of the week Jenna is run RAGGED at school, with plenty of stimulation and activity! I love that the teacher is promoting life skills throughout the day.

The teacher is very nice - she actually WRITES OUT notes home, doesn't just circle activities on a pre-designed page. YAY for good ol' fashioned communication. :)

And check out the AMAZING gingerbread house (made of Graham Crackers, of course) they helped Jenna make - my jaw dropped. So cute, right?

Front Door (complete with door mat):

Back door:

And Jenna made out on the Christmas/Birthday take home loot this year. First, the bus drivers from her old school gave her a doll, christmas hello kitty pillow and some yummy treats and bracelets. Then, the bus drivers at her new school gave her more gifts - yummy treats. Then, a sub bus driver sent something more home - coloring stuff and treats. Then, we get a whole bunch of stuff today. I got teary-eyed cuz they really seemed to go all out for these kids.

All the goodies!

And Hannah in her PJ Party outfit - although she seemed a bit confused when I woke her up only to put her in another pair of jammies. :)

Loungin' :)

And Hannah did some artwork at school too:
And I had to include a pic of Cohen - although he's having a bad hair day :)
Well, my cousin is here for the night with his two kiddos, so I better stop being RUDE and get going!!

Til later (and I'm on a roll now, so maybe tomorrow even??!!)

Another Post...At Last!

2007-12-20T22:57:00.000-06:00

Yay! A post from the brand new CASA! That's right - I'm a homeowner now!!! Well, technically, it's not really ours until the mortgage is paid off, but, well, ya know ;) I can hardly believe it, and just in time for Christmas, too. But moving in December is not easy. I'm trying really hard to enjoy being here without stressing out about squaring everything away - I just have to squint my eyes when I walk through a room decked out in brown cardboard - not the most attractive holiday decor! I guess you could say I'm a bit manic about having an orderly/clean household and the Christmas rush is definitely prolonging the settling process. Oh, well. Eventually we'll get it all done...and then there'll be something else to do, right?!

So, we've been busy over the past two months. There was so much to think about and do. But, home sweet home at last. We've been waiting nearly 8 years for this and finally, finally we're here! In a house I never dreamed I'd be able to buy. And I'm so grateful.

Of course, with a new house comes a housewarming gift. In this case, hubby bought one for himself and spent this evening putting it together. Cohen was in awe. I had to take a picture. Can you see him - the speck, there, on the floor? :)

Oh, and please excuse the mess!

BTW: Yesterday was the day Cohen took his first step - three or four times!! He's finally crawling all over the place - started doing this after we got him on some medication for nerve pain last month - and we can hardly slow him down now! YAY! :)

SO call me crazy, but despite all of the hectic stuff going on, I'm waiting for cookies to finish baking in the oven for my less-than-traditional, more "Fast-n-Easy" than "Martha Stewart" candy plates, which, sadly, will include brownies-from-the-box courtesy of Betty Crocker (even though they're the good ones with extra chocolate chips), chocolate chip cookies (recipe straight off the back of the nestle toll house cookie package), some peanut butter cookies (these from scratch, although I'm not sure how they're going to turn out yet - UPDATE, they're the BOMB!) and maybe some chocolate-peanut-butter fudge (this requires a watchful eye and I'm not sure I can muster it at this point, we'll see... UPDATE - yeah, this didn't happen...yet). I should have said forget it this year, but people kept sendin stuff home for my kids so I had to. Right?

I really miss being a kid and enjoying the holidays through a kid's perspective. Both girls have fun stuff going on at school tomorrow. Jenna is making a gingerbread house and Hannah has a PJ party where they are watching A Charlie Brown Christmas movie and eating pizza (Ummm, hey, can I come too???!)

Anyways, I'm so tired and there's so much to catch up on that I think I'll just post a few pictures...

Enjoy.

Finally, First B-day pics - only 3 months late!

Our little Prince.

And everyone helped blow out a candle for Cohen this year:The little artist again:

Ahoy there matey - our Pirate and Lil' Miss Camera Hog... Hey, wasn't Dad in this picture somewhere??!!

Cohen, miserable in the hospital back in Oct. - I tried to walk him up and down the floor to calm him down:

And, below...

...tree hunting - at Lowe's. But if you focused on the rows of trees and didn't look around too much, you could almost - ALMOST - imagine yourself on a tree farm somewhere, cutting down your own eventual-bulb-bearing green...

And finally, the kids-at-Christmas picture:

The best shot I got. Go figure. ;)

Merry Christmas!

A Sugary Recovery

2007-11-06T09:08:00.000-06:00

We're home!

We got out of jail - uhumm, the hospital - last Tuesday, the day before Halloween. The timing couldn't have been better - Hannah loves Halloween, especially the candy, so we just had to be home to go Trick-or-Treating together. My mom came out to help us, so she got to enjoy the festivities with us this year.

First, we gave Cohen lots of welcome home affection.

Enjoying some Grandma-love...

And I found the perfect shirt at Target (on a fluke during a last-minute Halloween dash) to leave the hospital in...

"I Still Live With My Parents"

Nurses thought this was pretty funny... hey, after 19 excruciating, institutionalized days, I had to find humor and JOY in parting! ;)

The night we brought Cohen home, we went outside just as the sun was going down to FINALLY carve pumpkins. Hannah loved making pumpkin-gut soup while we polished off the job cleaning them out :)

Our handiwork:
Standing back to admire our handiwork:

Hannah was especially proud of her pumpkin - lopsided, mis-matched eyes and ears and all...
And below, Scooby-Doo, courtesy of mommy's very tired, painfully cramping fingers! This thing took forever!!! After careful examination, Hannah still couldn't tell what it was supposed to be - hey, can't you tell?

And then? Halloween! And fun, cute Halloween outfits. Jenna had on a pumpkin shirt for school, but I didn't get a picture - oh, well, musta been tired from all that carving and, well, she left the house so darn eeeaaarrrrllllyyy!
And then, there were the costumes. For months leading up to Halloween, Hannah requested (over and over and over again) Dora Halloween as her bed-time story. In fact, if you didn't know this and you were lucky enough to read it to her, you woulda thought my child a reading prodigy - she knew it line by line. Then she got it into her head that she wanted to be a kitty-cat like Dora. But, this was a delicate situation, you see, because I couldn't make Jenna's costume so cute and GIRLY that Hannah would become HOWLINGLY dissapointed in her choice - so no frilly pink and princess tiaras this year for either girl!! Just a silly witch... and her preening black cat.

And daddy-kisses for our monkey-boy. Complete with the responsive smile that always melts my heart:

Antie Joan helped herd the kiddos out the door. The baby's costume was just too cute on him! He even tolerated it much better than I thought he would :)

And we're off!

The neighbors' witches pot. Had to take a picture.

Good thing that wasn't real fire - Jenna loved touching the "flame"

So, that was our Halloween, made even "sweeter" by our little guy's return. In fact, two nights ago, I ran to the store with my aunt and we returned home with one of those tantilizing little plastic containers from the quarter machine with a "prize" safely tucked away inside. Hannah was so excited to open it up and when she did, we laughed at the "bling" - a dollar sign on a silver chain. She asked what it meant and I told her it was a dollar sign - you know, I said, like money. She looked up at me with a pensive expression and told me she wanted to send the dollar to the doctor at the hop-spittal for making her baby brother "ALL better." My eyes filmed with watery, gooey, maternal emotion and my tongue clucked in gulpy speechlessness. I'm such a sap, right? But really, there's nothing like the relationship of siblings.

I am so blessed to have these beautiful children.

I will dedicate my next post to the baby in our bunch and his first year with us, culminating in those b-day pictures I have wanted to share but haven't...yet. Better late than never.

Hope you are all well and happy.

Till later!

Leaving the Woods Behind Us...

2007-10-18T06:49:00.000-06:00

Wow, the depressing nature of my last post deserves an optimistic follow up! At least part of the post, anyways ;)

As of today, little C is feeling much, much better. He almost slept through the night last night - except for every two hours when the nurses would bustle in to administer eye drops.

Last night they had to switch out his IV again. It infiltrated and fluid was accumulating on the top of his foot, except we couldn't see it because of all the stuff on top of it. See, C kept screaming every time they hooked him up to start the IV - for the entire HOUR he was on it. We insisted something was wrong; the nurses got sassy. We were not in the mood. Doc was willing to chalk it up to "sensitive baby veins." Okay, sure, right? Well, we went to change his diaper and noticed the needle flapping - in the breeze - outside all of that useless tape and stuff meant to hold it in place. They said let's redo it. I said can we do oral antibiotics? But no, doc wants him on IV - she's not comfortable with his progress yet. I understand all of this and I want him to get better, but not if we have to struggle to find adequate veins every 24 hours!!! And when they took off ALL THAT tape, we discovered the undeniable, fluid-filled poof harboring antibiotics that would have been better administrated orally!!!! Right?!

All in all, the IV fiasco ended up ok. The IV therapist came in and took a shot. Got it on the second stick, used a longer needle and arm board and voila! He took the next hour dose just fine. Aaaahhh, thank goodness! :)

I'm only writing about this to prove a point, if one even needs to be proven: sometimes, parents are right and the medical dorks, umm, I mean DOCS are actually WRONG - IMAGINE THAT!

Which leads me to some pet peeves:

-Why, oh why, do so many people in the medical profession ASS-U-ME that all parents are overbearing, ultra-sensitive, Internet-diagnosing hypochondriac freaks when it comes to their kids?

-Why is it that when you actually ask questions to get to the bottom of what is causing your child to scream hysterically (transl. "be fussy" courtesy of one pediatrician) for hours on end, night after night for MONTHS, that you receive a deathly-serious, bull-decrying frown and an abrupt admonition designed to cut you off in your path and PUT YOU BACK IN YOUR PLACE - you know, that QUIET place where patiently awaiting parents LOVE sitting in sterile hospital rooms watching their children suffer without the privacy-comforts of home?

-Why do nurses feel that being a FIRST TIME MOM explains everything?!! A nurse tried to pull that one on me yesterday, until she realized C was my third. Get this: she was even going so far as to insinuate that C stopped nursing and eating because I didn't really know what I was doing. Ummm, Hello?! I've got two hands-ful of specialists and therapists that will ARGUE that theory on my behalf. And who are you, anyways? And how long have you known my son?

Besides, even first-time moms have something nurses don't have: history, patterns, hours upon hours of getting to know their children, of observation. If your usually mellow, laid-back baby is in hysterics, SOMETHING'S WRONG, right? These nurses, even in the hospital, aren't around when he's screaming his head off and we're trying to calm him down!!

-How is it that a nurse or doc can walk into C's hospital room and suddenly be struck by some awe-inspiring epiphany that sneaks into their skull and manifests an instant diagnosis within the far reaches of their oh-so-clinical, self-assured, and let's not forget, VERY EXPERIENCED (as in, seen this a thousand times) brain.

ME: Night terrors? Really? Do they make a kid stop eating? Or need a G-Tube? I mean, I'm not a doctor or anything, but...

Wait, wrong fish!

-Why do specialists point fingers and shirk responsibility? Okay, maybe I'm being harsh on this one. Maybe I'm even being harsh on all of this. I just don't get why GI wants Neuro to rule out issues and Neuro wants GI to rule out issues and people, really, CAN'T WE ALL JUST WORK TOGETHER?

So, sorry about the vent. I needed to let it all out and BOY do I feel much better!!! Now, in all fairness, I have been relatively happy overall with the progress we have made in the hospital and with the staff in general - just some things that REALLY sting when I am already stressed and aggravated. But, as a disclaimer, not all medical staff make me want to scream in protest! Some have been wonderfully helpful and excellent, and I mean that! No, really...

The important thing is that our little guy is going to be just fine. He's out of the woods and looking great! He might be able to come home sometime this weekend.

And I am so thankful! YAY!

Soon, I will post some pictures I've been meaning to share of C's FIRST b-day when things slow down. I will try to keep updating as well. Thank you SO MUCH for your prayers, calls, and support.

OH, and I can't forget. I found this joke - HILARIOUS. ENJOY!

*****

F.A.Q about your Healthcare Plans and Doctor

Since I just joined a HMO, how difficult will it be to choose the doctor I want?

Just slightly more difficult than choosing your parents. Your insurer will provide you with a book listing all the doctors who were participating in the plan at the time the information was gathered. These doctors basically fall into two categories -- those who are no longer accepting new patients, and those who will see you but are no longer part of the plan. But, fortunately, there is a doctor who is in the plan accepting new patients. And...he has an office just four hours away.

I have an 80/20 plan with a $200 deductible and a $2,000 yearly cap. My insurer reimbursed the doctor for my out-patient surgery but I'd already paid my bill. What should I do?

You have two choices. Your doctor can sign the reimbursement check over to you, or you can ask him to invest the money for you in one of those great offers that only doctors and dentists hear about, like windmill farms or frog hatcheries.

What does HMO stand for?

This is actually a variation of the phrase, "Hey, Moe" Its roots go back to a concept pioneered by Doctor Moe Howard, who discovered that a patient could be made to forget about the pain in his foot if he was poked hard enough in the eyes. Modern practice replaces the physical finger poke with hi-tech equivalents such as voice mail and referral slips, but the result remains the same.

Do all diagnostic procedures require pre-certification?

No. Only those you need.

What are pre-existing conditions?

This is a phrase used by the grammatically challenged when they want to talk about existing conditions. Unfortunately, we appear to be pre-stuck with it.

Well, can I get coverage for my pre-existing conditions?

Of course, as long as they don't require any treatment.

What happens if I want to try alternative forms of medicine?

You'll need to find alternative forms of payment.

What should I do if I get sick while traveling?

Try sitting in a different part of the bus.

No, I mean what if I'm away from home and I get sick?

You really shouldn't do that. You'll have a hard time seeing your primary care physician. It's best to wait until you return, and then get sick.

I think I need to see a specialist, but my doctor insists he can handle my problem. Can a general practitioner really perform a heart transplant right in his office?

Hard to say, but considering that all you're out is the $10 co-payment, there's no harm giving him a shot at it.

What accounts for the largest portion of health care costs?

Doctors trying to recoup their investment losses.

Will health care be any different in the next century?

No, but if you call right now, you might get an appointment by then.

Hope I left you with a smile! Till next time and hopefully sooner than last time! :)

Prayers, Please...

2007-10-14T16:39:00.000-06:00

Words cannot express how tired I am right now. I am home - briefly - from yet another exhausting, interminable quest to discover just what, exactly, ails our little guy. I can barely think straight. I am sad. I am very, very frustrated. I feel like I need to reach out to people, but am embarrassed... I know that so many parents out there are suffering because they do not know how to help their most precious loved ones. I want to cry for them, too, and I feel a little selfish asking for your prayers - but please, pray for our little warrior and his recovery - and our sanity as we watch him go through hell (sorry, no other words can describe it). I am sure he will come out of all of this stronger than ever. I feel in my heart that he will be fine. I just hate to see him like this. Will write more later.

Catching Up!

2007-09-11T10:40:00.000-06:00

SURPRISE!

Yes, a new post.

You were probably just waiting for this. The big moment. Checking everyday with bated breath, right?

HA!

You do know I want to be a writer, don't you? I actually want a following. After all, a writer needs readers. So, thank you for sticking around, boosting my morale. Yes, you. And you. Two or more qualifies as an audience, doesn't it? Or maybe even just one?

So I missed blogging. I missed taking time out to reflect. To vent. To share. To... well, whatever. My aunt came out to stay with us so I could have more time. She's awesome. I couldn't ask for any more help. But now, two people do the job one did before. We're a team, and that means no sneaking off to the office to vigorously type behind closed doors. At least, not until now, but I want to change that, which is why I had to do it. It was necessary, really! Had to upgrade my office to this: Nice, huh? Think a writer could get motivated in here?

See, ideally, my plan was to devote time to writing first thing in the morning. I like to think of myself as something of a writer and I want to see where that might take me. Maybe a pipe dream, maybe not. But I'll never know unless I start writing!!! :) And now that I admitted it, guess I'm setting myself up for some accountability. Some follow through. But the closest I've gotten to writing lately was signing my name to all the receipts for office visit co-pays and school paperwork - which seems endless, doesn't it?

Anyways, I have some catching up to do, and lots of pictures to include.

So, the girls have both started school - yay! Jenna is now attending her home school, which is much closer than the school they bussed her to last year, and I am very, very happy with it so far!

Still pitch black outside and waiting for the bus.

Hey, that's not the way to the bus! STOP!

Where Jenna spends seven hours, five days a week. That's a lot of time for mommy to write! :)

The view outside (from my car window). Her school sits back in the trees all by itself, and it's only a few minuts from our house! YAY!

Jenna is doing well, but she is still adapting, which means sleep issues - again! This drives me bonkers! I just got her fairly regular with her bed time for the FIRST TIME since she was BORN - that's eight and a half years of fitful/irregular sleep! And now that she's back in school, we're starting all over again. She does not like change.

Hannah just started part-time preschool and she absolutely LOVES it! She is very social and really intelligent, and I think she was ready for the challenge. The one challenge we're still struggling with, however, is potty training! UGGGHHH! I think it might have something to do with having a sibling with special needs who is not yet regular? But when she's at school, she's happy as can be. She waves goodbye when I drop her off, but leaves with a smile when I pick her up.

I love her school, too!! Mommy and auntie get some down time a few days a week. It's also very secure. You have to have a key thingy to even get into the door. Love that!

First day and ready to go.

Greeting teacher (read: hogging attention :)

Sitting on the green, ready to start the first day!

(And waiting impatiently for mom to snap the picture already!)

Can you believe this? How adorable? It's like an indoor village with a town square in the middle.

This is the kitchen where they learn to make food (and eat it, too!), and upstairs there is an actual little lounge/cafe. The place even has its own full-size gym (minus bleachers, of course!)

Prior to school starting, Hubby and I took Cohen and Hannah for their first haircuts. Yes, Hannah is three and probably should have had a haircut before now, but I love her hair and didn't want to cut off one measly inch! Cohen is little still, I know, but he had hair growing over his ears already - definitely needed a trim!

The salon we went to was amazing! They had special "stools" for the kids, bright colors and cool gift stuff everywhere, movies for distraction, and they even film your child's first haircut if you want. They also have a party room with dress up stuff, little makeup/hair stations where girls can get glammed up, and even an area for mini manicures for those little fingernails! I really enjoyed taking them there and I'm thinking about trying Jenna. So far, I've been cutting her hair because she HATES when someone even approaches with a brush in hand. Good luck getting her to sit still for a haircut. Although this place did have movies...

Pre-cut, comfy with Daddy. Poor lady's trying to butter him up, but he's not won over that easily!

Do you SEE that hair hanging over his ears?!

Scissors: Snip, snip!

Mommy: Sniff, sniff

On the road to a great haircut. Oh, man. I'm so corny.

Goldilocks. Or mini-rapunzel? Definitely time for a trim (at least!) Poor girl could almost sit on that hair! ;)

Where Cohen would have sat, if he were just a tad bit bigger... maybe next time?

So, anyways, I just wanted to post the latest happenings. My kids have been sick off and on the past month. Who hasn't been sick? In our family, it started with a cold/ear infection Jenna and Hannah caught. Then Cohen. Then my aunt. Now, it's back to the girls again!!!

AAARRRGGGHHH!

Two sickies, bundled up on the floor.

SLEEP? Right!

Jenna loving teddy in her cool pink and purple camo pjs (can you see her, Chriss? hehe)

Here are the beginnings of some promised pictures from our trip to Cali:

Grandma and Papa with Cohen, who's smirking cuz he knows he's got the "it" factor already! ;)

The kids were so happy to visit with two of their favorite people in the world!

And below, a picture Hannah drew while we were at my brother's house. Can you tell which one was done by a child and which by an adult??? I won't tell you who drew the picture on the left, which was drawn AFTER the picture on the right, at the hand of my brilliant just-turned-three-year-old.

So, a start, right? More pics to come of our trip. More news from the family. Thought I would spare you too much info too fast!

Till later!

We're Back and It's About Time!

2007-07-26T15:51:00.001-06:00

It's about DARN TIME, I know... if anyone actually visits this blog anymore!

Cali was an adventure. Lots of visiting, lots of loved ones, and lots of DRAMA - something I can't seem to escape, no matter where I go! I've got self-diagnosed "black cloud syndrome." hehe

***DISCLAIMER: I actually started this post in Cali, so I figured since I started it, I might as well finish it. Of course, I was knee deep in medical issues at the time and using this blog to vent... read at your own risk - HA! :) Next post will be more... ummm... uplifting. Promise!

Hey, I mean it! Really :)

For starters, there was something in the air there and it really stunk. I'm talking farms. Farm animals. Cows. Cow crap. MMMOOOOO!! You know, the stuff that gets into your nostrils and hangs around in there, clinging for dear life, until you think you would rather DIE than actually inhale EVEN ONE MORE TIME! Well, not surprisingly, my body agreed with my brain - so much so that my throat and chest defied me and slowly refused any more O2 influx, which led to a VERY fun trip in a hospital on wheels, getting stuck in the hand with an IV on the way, and waiting around on an emergency room gurney after taking breathing treatments and steroid meds that left me so shaky I thought the Earth was quaking, not just me!

So, I was whisked away and my poor SIL and brother were left to take care of my three kids on top of their own kiddo. And they didn't know how to feed Cohen. Not that I didn't think they could handle it, I knew they could and they did, with me walking SIL through it over the phone. And I know it couldn't have been easy, but they did not complain. Not once. Brave souls. I just have a problem: I worry too much.

Then I get back to my brother's house, chest aching, jittery, and tired, with the depressing guarantee of yet more medical bills, and my poor little guy is so constipated he's grunting and grunting and screaming... he just can't get comfortable. So off I go to the grocery store for some suppositories, thinking is this really happening? Am I making something outta nothing? Or...?

Two days later, after three suppositories and some prune juice (does that ever really work?), he still won't go poo and refuses to eat - every time I try to hook up his feeding tube, he writhes and cries. So, off to the ER AGAIN, where they x-rayed his belly and found he had lots of stopped-up poo in his intestines. Oh yes, people, proof positive that this is not all in my head. I'm truly not a hypochondriac. Seriously.

So we began a treatment to rid his intestines of the offensive stuff, which I had to continue at home - after leaving the hospital at 1am - until 5am. Wow, and I thought I would actually get to see some of my old stomping grounds, not just the inside of an ER, or, even worse, the ER Hallway - lovely overflow, people!

I missed my hubby more than ever at this point. I wanted him there for support and reinforcement, but he was halfway across the country. Boo-Hoo.

Oh, and I learned an important lesson from my three year old.

It all started when I almost got in a head-on collision leaving a friend's house. Oh, yes. A car heading towards me in the opposite lane suddenly veered off the road, spewing up dirt as its tires spun off the side of the road, then lurched back onto the road and into my lane, narrowly missing me as I watched its brake lights directly behind me in my rear view mirror. This was such a close call I could see the faces of the two people in the front seats. The driver, a male, then over corrected and lurched back into the other lane before ending up back in my lane again. I don't know what happened after that, but I do know that I saw all of the cars in the opposite lane come to a dead stop behind me. Hope he didn't hit someone. I was a little shaken by the close call, so when I got back to my parents' house, I explained - calmly - what happened and how crazy it was, not really paying attention, as I told my story, to my three year old, who was leaning her elbows on the back of the couch and hanging onto every word I said.

All of a sudden I hear a little whimper and I glance her way as she wails, Moooommmmmy!

Her mouth quivers. Mommy, don't do that, mommy... I don't want you to do that!

She swallows and waves her pointer finger back and forth, whispering once more, Don't do that, Mommy. Her eyes fill with tears and one actually slips down her cheek.

To my surprise - and ignorance? - she understood what I was talking about and her interpretation was disturbing: it was almost as if she believed I would willingly participate in an accident that would take me from her. So, with that said, I definitely won't be throwing my vehicle in front of oncoming traffic anytime soon - for her sake, of course, hehe.

I guess it's a good idea to be really careful what you say in front of your kids, huh? And here's another reason why:

The next day, Hannah was talking to her cousin on the phone and she began to tell him, "My Mommy went this way, and he went that way, and then my Mommy went the 'nother way, and he went that way..." criss-crossing her hands, one over the other, as she explained like I had the night before.

Note to self: No more discussing serious crises in front of little pint-sized ears! She was very, very upset by it all. Bad Mommy!

Now that I got all of that venting out of the way, I should add that Cohen is now on medication that seems to be helping him, and his mommy has new medicine, too, so she can breathe easier! :) We're feeling much better these days. Whew!

So on with it...

***

Everyone in California kept jokin' around, askin' me where I left my cowgirl hat and what hitchin' post I tied my horse up to, cuz now I live in Texas, Y'ALL. And I have some news for you hecklers out there: Central Valley, Cali is WAY MORE HICK than my new neck o' the woods out in Texas. Some reasons why I know this:

We drove out to see our old house by the lake. As we were driving, my silly little Jenna-bug starts shouting something. Takes me a coupla seconds to figure out what in the heck she's sayin. Then I laugh. Cows are blanketing the countryside we're driving through, horses are scattered here and there, and she's yellin YEE-HAW! over and over again as she watches the animals pass by out her window. Tell me that ain't a sign...
My friend is moving to what is deemed the cowboy capital of the area. I went to see her new house in progress and guess what I saw out my window...

The local bar.
For those rough-and-tumble, beer-guzzling hicks who don't know how to play nice.

Do you see this? Saddles? Tack? Yee-Haw!

Oh, and savin the best for last...

Cowboy Museum? Cowboy Museum?!!
Probably not for the faint at heart :)

If you're into this stuff, don't take offense. Let me clarify: I grew up here, and I was friends with my fair share of cowboys/girls. I even find wranglers, work boots, and western slang somewhat attractive, I'll admit. Definitely manly. I might have even ended up with my own hick-hubby if it hadn't been for Craig and a certain Halloween party...

And I still blare country music from time to time, just like in high school.

Seriously, though, I was soooo glad that I could share my friend's excitement about her new house. I'm happy I got to see it before she moved in. I'm looking forward to visiting again when she's all settled.

Alright, I'm just about finished!

Thought I would leave ya with two pics of our trip en route to my hubby's grandparents' house on my birthday. F-U-N! A two lane desert highway in the middle of nowhere, but at least on the WAY to somewhere...

Great b-day company, huh? Totally worth it, though, to see Craig's grandparents, although I'm not so sure what kind of company I was, since I was so darn tired from all the driving!

But I did have these guys to keep me ENTERTAINED, which is one way to look at it ;)

Nine hours into our trip and in surprisingly good spirits.

Jenna was VERY grateful for the DVD player (and so was mommy, I might add - how in the WORLD did we EVER live without it?), so much so that she wouldn't take her eyes off of it for my picture! Cohen's on the other side of Hannah, but I couldn't fit him in - although he was so quiet the entire trip, I sometimes forgot he was even there. I think if I were him, and I was outnumbered by girls in a small, enclosed space, I would wanna sleep through it too...

And anyone wanna guess how many times you can sing the ABC song; Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star; or Hey, Hey, There Playmate, while simultaneously watching Strawberry Shortcake or Care Bears over a 12 hour trip? A gazillion. Or so it seemed. :) Straw-ba-ba-ba-ba-berry, Extraor-di-di-dinary... In the Land of Joke-A-Lot, everyone laughs a lot... Memories of a time when I used to watch this stuff as a kid. Crazy.

Till later!

On the Road Again...

2007-07-14T21:55:00.000-06:00

I was going to post more about our trip down to Corpus, but before I knew it, I was off again on another adventure. And let me tell you, this adventure has not turned out like I expected it to so far!

First of all, I officially graduated from 20s to 30s this week. My actual birthday was spent driving through the desert with my three kids. Crazy? Maybe. But that's how it turned out. At least I could get text messages on my brand-new cell phone (my b-day gift from hubby before I left him back home) and a few well-wishers sent some great b-day greetings, which made the empty desert seem less lonely, at least! And my new cell phone is blue-tooth enabled, so I was able to talk hands free. Wow, I never knew what I was missing, didn't even realize my old cell phone was already an antique! ;)

This is where my plans changed, where everything sorta went - POOF! - up in the air... My SIL and her son were supposed to drive all the way to Cali with me, with a short pit-stop and energy fuel-up at my MIL's house in Arizona - which is also SIL and son's house... Well, after being gone from home for the summer visiting us, SIL decided to end the journey early at home in lieu of traveling out to Cali and staying for a few weeks. So be it! There I was, in Arizona, faced with two choices: head home alone with three kids, or continue on with three kids. The distance was just about equal either way, so I decided to forage ahead! I wanted to take this trip so badly - had planned it since we moved away last year - and nothing was gonna deter me! Not even miles and miles of lonely desert highway on my birthday.

Now this is where the new DVD player in my new car came in handy. I kept remembering our trip out to TX in the BEAST and thanked my lucky stars I got my new car in time. The DVD player saved my sanity, let me tell you! Despite hours and hours of Care Bears and Strawberry Shortcake (How long do they recycle old cartoon characters, anyways? These were two of my favorites as a kid!), I was in a much happier state as long as my kiddos were content in the backseat. Plus, the comfort factor of this car made mommy very happy, also! And I didn't have to worry about breaking down on the side of the highway somewhere...

We stopped in a small lake community outside of Bakersfield to visit my husband's grandparents for the night and, although I am very glad we made the extra detour, it was exhausting after a long day's trip - 6:30am to 7:00pm with three bathroom stops and four feedings for Cohen. And then, wouldn't ya just know it? Cohen had a rough night, screaming off and on into the wee hours of the morning. I felt very bad for him, but at the same time I was sure I would keel over any minute!!! Exhaustion vs empathy vs exhaustion vs empathy... The next morning, I had my zombie walk goin' on and fatigue-induced nausea gnawing at my tummy, but I managed to bathe the kiddos and we were off once again to complete the final six hours of our incredibly long, lonely journey!

But I am here at last, at my parent's house, safe and sound. I am missing hubby tremendously, but glad to be here. Tomorrow we are heading up to my Grandma's house for a visit and I am excited to see some of my family again, including my brother and his wife and son. This will make everything worth the hassle - seeing the people I love after being away for so long!

I will post again soon, hopefully in the next few days! Hope you are all enjoying the summer!

When Going to the Beach, Plan Your Menu Carefully...

2007-07-03T07:44:00.000-06:00

So about our vacation...

My parents flew in on Saturday; we headed down to Corpus Christi Sunday. This was interesting. The first time away from home overnight with Cohen on his feeding pump. We rented a 3 bedroom condo on the beach - sorta. It was actually next to a private beach, but ya could still see the ocean and stuff so it still counts right? The condo had a nice pool/BBQ area with palm trees for shade and you could float and see the ocean at the same time, so you could at least imagine you were swimming in the ocean ;)

Hannah with her "boat"

Jenna telling a story...

Jenna still telling a story... :)

Cohen admiring cousin Josh's hair cuz he still doesn't have much of his own ;)

But we wanted some real ocean action, so we all drove down to the local beach, which was only a few blocks up from us. By all, I mean my cousin plus five kids, my SIL and son, my parents, my aunt plus husband, and me plus my other half and three kids. Back home, pre-journey, we had loaded up the back of the truck will all kinds of beach toy goodies, so the kids littered the beach with colorful plastic while we ran around trying to keep the cheap stuff from flying away! Is it always windy at the beach?

The kids had fun, though. They played with an existing sand castle - I debated telling you this, I was gonna let ya think my kids were genius! :)

Workin on a castle fit for a princess

Jenna playing with cousins, who were very, very nice to her.

I was very impressed with how patient they were and how much they were willing to include her... that's sometimes rare to find in kids who don't understand...

The kids waded through the water, testing its depth (and their parents!) cuz you could walk so far out, you looked like a speck on the horizon, a bird flitting around on the waves...

See the speck way out there? That's Josh...

Jenna, enjoying the baby waves as they came in.

Which reminds me. The birds at the beach were insane! Literally. They lost their minds out there on the beach; maybe they've been sippin the salt water or something ;)

I think they should seriously consider putting a sign up out there:

Birds Will Kill For Food.

So the stingy birds wanted our food. But not just anything in our stash. They had a preference, if you can believe that. Cheetos. Oh, yeah! They went ape-shit over them - oh wait, wrong animal... So anyways, the birds loved our Cheetos so much, they stole em from chewing mouths. *
My cousin and her daughter both experienced the mouthy cheese-napping first-hand. Mom laughed, though she seemed a little shaken - daughter cried :( cuz it was darn scary (I think I woulda cried too...)

Want some Cheetos, Sherry?

Umm...Yeah...Thanks but no thanks!

I was not planning on touching the bag, much less the chips. :)

My SIL said it was like the movie The Birds, but I wouldn't know cuz I've never seen it.

Ummm...Cheeto-breath?

So anyways, we all had fun. The beach was really nice and the company was even better (MINUS the birds, of course!)

Reflecting on the day...

All in all, a fun time!

We all arrived back at the condo tired, sandy, and a little sun-burnt (despite slathering on the sun screen), with a new loathing of greedy white beach-birds, but definitely happy we got the chance to romp around in the sand and experience the amazingly shallow ocean and sandy beach.

Hannah and her cousin - BFF after spending a few days together :)

Next post: The Aquarium...

Till Later!

Swiper, That Sneaky Fox, is Always Stealin' Stuff...

2007-07-01T19:42:00.000-06:00

So, better late than never, ey? I haven't had much time to post with all three kids at home this summer, especially with extra house guests around, so I'm doing my best to keep up. When the girls start school in August I will have more time to write...and stuff! ;) I can hardly wait - I am so excited to have little breaks during the week. Looks like Hannah might be on a half day schedule, so I get about 3 1/2 hours with my little guy to work on all the things the physical therapist tells us to work on without kids swarming around us, stepping on us, pulling on my shirt - or hands or arms or hair - cuz they want something RIGHT NOW!

First - we went to Sea World yesterday. It started out okay. I just wish the humidity hadn't joined us for the ride and the sun had remained tucked behind the many clouds that traveled through the area in the previous 24 hour period. In fact, the humidity didn't seem so bad at first. But then the moisture spawns droplets of sweat on every inch of your body, which eventually feel like creepy crawling spiders sliding all over your skin when they drip, drip, drip downward... ew!

Once we returned home, I decided that so much of my impression of a place depends upon the time I spend there - isn't this the case for everyone? I mean, one day you could go to a place, let's say Sea World, and have a GREAT time. The lines might be short, the weather might be good, and people might be really nice and friendly and stuff. And on THAT day, you walk away thinking, "I'd really like to come back here again sometime."

That is sooooo NOT what I was saying yesterday!

Cuz while I was waiting for my SIL and her son to ride Journey to Atlantis, someone snuck up behind us and STOLE MY WALLET FROM OUT BENEATH MY SON! Okay, that didn't sound so great. Let me explain: I had just tucked my wallet into the net underneath my double stroller where a whole lotta other crap was. Tucked it in good and tight, but accessible enough for those drinks we so desperately needed when SIL and son got off the ride. A few minutes later, it suddenly vanishes into thin air. Oh yeah. Poof! Now don't take this the wrong way, people. I was with Cohen, in fact had one hand on the stroller AT ALL TIMES. Whoever lifted my wallet was good. Really, really, good. I remember bending down to talk to Hannah directly in front of the stroller (we had taken up spots at the rail so we could watch the final plunge over and over and over again) when a boat came splashing through at the end of a not-worth-waiting-in-line-for-over-an-hour "journey." The next thing I remember, I stood up and found a Sierra Mist soda bottle sitting on the front seat of the stroller where Hannah usually sits, and no, I didn't buy any Sierra Mist there and neither did SIL or son - I checked. Besides, Hannah was just sitting there and I think she would have noticed a soda bottle in her back! So, it turns out our perp apparently has a sense of humor. He/she left behind a gift - a consolation prize of sorts, wasn't that nice? Not only a sneaky bastard, but a genuine wise-ass to boot. I was fumin' mad, but I wasted no time: I called the bank immediately, so the cards were no good to him/her (SUCKER!), and I only had $40 in cash in there, so it could have been worse, but still! I felt so violated. MY KID WAS IN THAT STROLLER. In fact, he probably saw the idiot.

I was definitely creeped out! And I certainly didn't need droplets of humidity-induced sweat to make my skin crawl at that point.

And suddenly I disliked being there very, very much. And I'm not sure I'll return again soon.

Which just sucks, because I want to be taken in by the amazing sights/sounds/magic of it all. I want to feel like a kid again. And it took a selfish crook with sticky fingers to bring me reeling back to adulthood! But like I said, I think your opinion of any place depends upon your experience there. So while I was fumin' mad and calling up the bank, countless people drifted by, smiling happy people who loved being there and loved the experience. Good for them. Hope they're hanging on tight to their wallets!

But the good news? My wallet is now in lost and found - MINUS the cash, of course - so at least I can go reclaim my old CA ID and the already USELESS check cards! YAY! Oh, and did I mention that the check card was my only access to money for the weekend? Oh, yes! If your wallet or purse is ever stolen (and I would not wish this on anyone, of course!) PRAY that it is taken on a day the banks are open and NOT, say, on a Saturday evening when ya still got a day and a half till the bank opens again and you can actually access your own money!!!

So, although I did, admittedly, enjoy some of the time we were there, it did not end quite the way I expected...

Anyways, we have been very busy the past few weeks and I look forward to sharing, but I figured this was enough ranting/rambling for now... ;)

Stay tuned for stories of our mini vacation/visit with the folks. They will be coming - in installments - starting tomorrow. With pictures, of course.

Till then!

Look Who's Three!

2007-06-13T07:54:00.000-06:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HANNAH!

Mama, I wanna be a princess when I grow up...

Our little girl has now passed from terrible two's to...time-will-only-tell three's!! :)

Of course, I'm a day late writing this, but... well, ya know...better late than never!

We will really celebrate when Grandma and Grandpa come out from California. The girls are excited; we're counting down the days on the calendar. Only 3 more left! YAY!

A couple of weeks ago, I had high aspirations for all of the projects I would complete before my parents got here. HA! What happens to time? Where does it go when it flies by? Before I know it, I'm faced with two choices: get my organizing projects/shopping finished, or deep-clean the house. Well, since I would rather endure a week of sleepless nights than have a guest stay in a less-than-spick-n-span house, the cleaning takes top priority. Oh, wait - I've already been doing sleepless nights. Oh, yeah! Jenna and I have been partying ALL NIGHT LONG (again) in front of that noisy, fun-filled box of animated viewing excitement! Before ya ask, she doesn't nap too long. And she doesn't go to sleep early... yes, for all of you well-meaning folks with lots of good-intentioned advice, my kid does not fall into the regular categories. She has seizures. She has trouble sleeping. She has since she was born. And no amount of schedule shifting, or nap-deprivation, can change that, it seems. *sigh*

But, I know my house will get done in time. It always does. I just wish there wasn't so darn much of it now!

Yes, I'll do those projects and the floors/surfaces/toilets will sparkle cuz they will get cleaned. Just not by me.

Ssshhhh... don't tell anyone...but...

we called up the cleaning lady. Is that cheating? ;)

It's just that...

I'd do it if only...

It's not really my fault...

hehe :) Excuses, excuses...

Life is crazy around here! That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

The other day I put in a load of laundry, then forgot about it. All day. By the time I opened up the lid, my delicate nostrils flared with the smell of sour duds. Seems like this happens more frequently than I'd like. Then I thought about what I did all day and I decided maybe I should chronicle a day in our lives for your reading pleasure. What I discovered that day was that I was constantly moving. Constantly getting something. Feeding hungry mouths, de-contaminating one of my three kids' booties, changing movies, picking up broken crayon bits off the kitchen tile from a game of roll the colored logs off the table as fast as you possibly can (!), pinching play-dough out of very expensive and not-so-kid-friendly carpet, trying to clean "washable" marker off the table, re-filling sippy cups and mopping - or scrubbing - the spills that aren't supposed to happen (cuz, darnit, it says so right on the box, so it must be true!), chasing down "My little Texas Tornado" as she runs through the house lifting everything in her path and dropping it in random locations wherever she goes (hey, where are your shoes? Oh, there they are! What in the heck are they doing with the pots and pans in the cupboard?), fighting a precocious two-turned-three year old on strike from noontime naps... well, ya get the idea...

And then, of course, there are the sleepless nights, which blur together now in an endless stream of frustrating, fight-the-gut-aching-fatigue, moonlit hours that keep coming back to haunt us! This happens every few weeks with Jenna. And then, last night? Hannah. Sick. Great way to top off a birthday, right?

But, on to the good news. GREAT news, actually. Cohen's chromosome test results came back - NO genetic syndromes! YAY! We're really relieved, but confused. Where do we go from here? And on Friday, Cohen finally traded in the foot long, floppy tube appendage hanging from his tummy for a much less intrusive, little round button. Now my little bruiser can crawl around as soon as he's ready without stumbling over his old tummy-straw!

So we're still trying solids and drinks by mouth...

How does it look like it's going?

Got a little in there, at least!

But, feed through the tube...

And voila! A whole new baby! :)

Bye-Bye Appendage...

Till later! ;)

Makin' Waves...

2007-05-31T13:45:00.001-06:00

Aaahhh... there's nothing better than lounging by the pool on a hot, humid day, baking in the blazing-bright sun, listening to the sound of water-play, watching someone else splish-splash around in refreshingly cool, chlorinated water!

Except, of course, when that someone else is your own kid and the hot, humid day is the day of her very first swimming lesson. Then, it just might be worth it... right?

Especially if, afterwards, you get to enjoy a yummy lunch you didn't have to fix yourself and dirty dishes you don't have to clean up afterwards in an air conditioned restaurant and then, after pigging-out, you get to settle down in a comfy reclining arm chair in a cool, dark theater and watch a funny movie, candy in hand.

Oh, yeah!

This was our Tuesday.

First of all, I dug deep into an old box of Jenna's clothes and found this adorable little Tweety swim suit that fit Hannah perfectly - thank goodness for hand-me-downs! It reminded me of how much I thought Jenna looked like Tweety with her big blue eyes and thick, dark lashes... and now all of my kids have 'em, but they didn't come from me, unfortunately!

I prepped Hannah for this lesson ahead of time, so first thing in the morning she's rarin to go, running around reminding us that she's going to her first swimmin' lesson. I have to remind her that she is not the only one who needs to get ready to go. I was pretty sure they wouldn't appreciate the comfort-factor of my sky-blue, summer-thin cotton jammies, so a wardrobe change was necessary. :)

My sister-in-law, Julie, her son, Josh, and Hannah, Cohen and I all piled into the car and drove to the gym pool where Hannah's lesson would take place. We didn't have to go far; the gym is right down the street (I know, I know... why in the heck is it so hard for me to get down there to work out?!)

Anyways...

Here's Miss Me, Me, Me, dressed and ready to go, poolside.

And here's to living...

Life on the edge! HA!
*
(My little shortstack's on the far right, in case you couldn't tell...)

And takin' the plunge, finally.

Hi, mom... yes, I know you're back there...and I'm sendin' you a mental note - if I don't like it, I ain't doin' it and you can't make me FROM WAY OVER THERE! HA! :)

And then? PROGRESS.

Look at me! Wow, I can actually do this!

*Disclaimer* Ummm... as long as I have someone holding me at all times, with two hands firmly planted on a major part of my body and I'm able to stretch my neck like the true SWAN I am far enough away from the water to keep from getting so much as a drop of water on my sensitive chin, which means what you want me to do next is completely OUT OF THE QUESTION!

Bubble making?

Can I do that from up here?
Cuz this is about as close as I get!

And finally - finally! - finished after a trying, grueling ENTIRE 30 minutes!
Whew! Tough Stuff!

And now I can tell everyone how GREAT I was cuz, well, I'm not in the pool anymore!

But seriously, I was definitely a proud mommy; she did very well, considering it was her first lesson in the pool. She wasn't as scared as I thought she might be - just very, very firm on her limits! ;)

Having her own cheering section probably helped...

Josh has the right idea.
He is actually doing what I thought of doing myself cuz it was so darn hot. Did I mention that already? Oh yeah.

Cohen's not too keen on the heat, either.

Our little ball of enthusiasm...
Oh, yes, buddy! Someday, you, too, can be a Bubble Maker!

When we signed up for this gym, I had no idea how incredible the kiddie pool was.

Until Tuesday, and this lesson.

While the kids were gearing up to go in, a buzzing/humming vibrated the whole pool area for a minute, and I'm thinking RUN FOR YOUR LIVES, PEOPLE! SOMETHING'S GONNA BLOW, but then the fountains kicked in and the water rushed down the slide, and these great big cones started filling with water and tipping over one by one to splash water into the pool below as they filled and re-filled. This is a great diversion for kids who wanna stand underneath them and get dumped on. Who woulda thought of that?

Oddly enough, there are people fifty feet away or so, breathing fire and sweating like crazy on those crazy, electronic slave-driving machines - oh, yeah. I forgot where I was for a minute...

And then: the celebration luncheon ;) at Red Robin's.

Where Hannah ordered "Sgetti" and Josh ordered Pizza, but there was no marinara sauce, so Hannah settled for fettuccine and Josh, a burger - ON THE HOUSE! Gotta love that!

And then, across the parking lot we went to the ridiculously large and regal Palladium/IMAX theater for SHREK!

The inside actually has a restaurant and a sports bar.

Josh and Julie, bellies full, ready for the movie...

...which was pretty funny and the perfect ending to the day's events. Cohen actually watched over half of the movie, chuckling when the characters laughed and talking back when the characters got a little loud. It was very cute.

Hannah did really well too. I was surprised she didn't fall asleep in the dark theater. She actually lasted until the SECOND she was strapped into her car seat and on the way home.

No wonder: it was a busy day for her!

I was so proud of my little mermaid in the making. Is that corny? Probably. Yes. Oh, well. When she refused to go under water today, I reminded her that mermaids swim under the water and mermaids are beautiful when they swim. She came home and repeated the very same things to grandma Judy over the telephone. And they say kids don't listen...

And I figure swimming lessons were a much better idea than the 60s rock revival she had in mind...

Right?

I have soooo much more to tell and many more pictures to post (to catch up for lost time), so I'll get those up soon. Much sooner than my last promise, I promise! ;) hehe

Till later!

And the Winner is...

2007-05-23T23:11:00.000-06:00

JIPPED!

DOH!

So, we baked brownies, got out the ice cream, settled down around 8 o'clock and called up the pre-recorded American Idol on our DVR (cuz we're on crazy central time now and everything starts at 7 O'CLOCK - pre-bed-time for kiddos).

We went through two hours of stuff. Two hours of sometimes interesting, sometimes not-so-interesting fluff stuff.

My sister-in-law and nephew even delayed ogling the final DVR'ed episode of Lost - SHOCKING, I know!

We were at the last commercial break.

And then?

Nothing. Abso-freakin-nothing!

Turns out our DVR stops exactly ON THE HOUR, and if you know FOX, you know nothing ends ON THE HOUR on that network cuz that's how they roll. Which would be fine if I would have remembered that (we missed DAUGHTRY last night for the EXACT same reason!), but then, that makes it even worse cuz our DVR has this nifty little feature where you can actually change the time to exceed the hour - and of course, I didn't remember. So it was my fault. But, oh no! I refuse to take all of the blame! I went to the guide, chose the SHOW - not the TIME - so it should have recorded the ENTIRE SHOW, right?

Oh, Whatever! Just a show. No big deal...

So we deferred to the Internet to see who won. I figure at this point they're all going to be winners, anyways. And I don't mean that in a sympathetic, idealistic Paula Abdul way, I mean it in a look-at-Daughtry way. That's right. Booted off last year and the biggest out-of-the-gate hit from American Idol, surpassing Taylor Hicks' record sales by over a million.

I always think it's funny to see all the ex-Idolers out in the audience. Like that guy, Constantine Morales? Was that his name? Cool name... but the guy? Not so sure. But why-oh-why was his mug ALWAYS in the background tonight?

And then the humor they add with their little awards segments? Not so funny, at least not to me. That stuff gets old. And sorta cruel, in a way. Like the Sanjaya performance. Maybe it's just me...I dunno.

Anyways, enough about American Idol. Congrats to what's her name. Blake will go on to do great things, I'm sure. That beat-boxing rocked! How does he do that anyways?

But, I have to admit: I loved seeing Bette Midler on the show. Really surprising, and she totally reminded me of BEACHES (ummm, maybe had to do with the song she chose? Wind Beneath My Wings) - one of the few movies I still actually have a copy of!

And then there's--
"You've got to give a little, take a little, let your poor heart break a little.
That's the story of, that's the glory of, Love..."

Ahhh... Good ol' eccentric C.C. Bloom and her reliably sane sidekick Hillary Whitney, and later, pint-sized cynic Victoria.

Oh, yeah!! My sister in law's in for a treat - I told her we're going to watch it sometime soon because she's never seen it before. She laughed; I'm serious. Total chick flick! :) And I need someone to tortu-- uhumm -- watch it with me! ;)

Okay, I'm super-tired and a little looney because of it! Good night!

Till later!

My Little Lefty

2007-05-22T05:42:00.000-06:00

Hey, you there! How are ya?

I hope your life's been a bit less crazy than mine has been. But then again, if you have kids, probably not, right? :)

So no, I didn't drop off the face of the Earth.

I've been meaning to post, but kept putting it off because my hubby wiped my laptop clean and reinstalled software that does not recognize my flash drive, so my computer can't "see" my pictures - MAJOR heada-- ummm, I mean, BUMMER. Hopefully, we'll have that fixed in the next few days, but everything I wanted to post has pictures to go with it and the stories just wouldn't be complete without them! Hmmm... could this be the scrapper in me that never gets to scrap anymore? ;) Miss those days, hanging out, being creative, with the kids going haywire in the background - HA! The good ol' days...

Anyways, expect a post - with pictures - in the next few days.

In the meantime...

I just got Jenna off on the bus - yep, that's right. 6:30. You think that's early? Well, the last three nights have been late to bed/early to rise, or even worse: no bed at all - all night long! The fun's returned to our crazy household. Two nights ago, Jenna was up all night with a stuffy nose, which probably means allergies and an ear infection (or two) again. *sigh* But she ran AMUCK all day long yesterday, laughing and running and laughing and running... oh, and BREAKING things. Oh, yeah! Shattered glass, in the bathroom, everywhere. I took both girls in there - mind you this is our half bath, so it was pretty cramped - and had the big one sit on the potty while the little one got her diaper changed on the rug on the floor. Well, the big one did not wanna sit on the potty so she jumps up and then keeps right on jumping - up and down, up and down, grabbing anything for leverage - including this cute black shelf I had above the toilet, which I thought was high enough to be almost out of reach. Well, almost doesn't cut it, right? Isn't that what we tell our kids? Oops! Anyways, she grabs onto the shelf and jumps up and down while she pushes up and pulls down alternately, laughing like she's having a good ol' time, while I'm on the floor, trying to get up in seemingly slow motion (ummm... hello? gym? Yeah, it's me. I know I've been neglecting you, but I'll be right down!). So all of this pushing and pulling causes the darn shelf to lift up off the screws and fall on top of the toilet while its contents (four glass vials filled with glass rocks and flowers) come crashing down to the floor. Luckily, only one of the glass vials broke, so it could have been worse, but still, glass went everywhere. I grabbed both kids and lifted them up out of the bathroom to the hall, then carefully made my way out of there, too. I'm happy to say there were no injuries, except the lid on the toilet tank, which now has a crack-- or, I should say is now split completely in half! How expensive are those things anyways? Do I have to buy a whole new stinkin' toilet? Anyways, I shut the door and walked away, locking the handle and warning everyone to steer clear of the wreckage until I could muster up the energy to go back into the crime scene and clean up :) Said mess is now, happily, in the bottom of the trash can.

Needless to say, I figured if Jenna was feeling well enough to wreak all of that havoc yesterday, then her little bootie was going to school today! And so off she went.

But the drama does not end there. As I sit here, hubby sits at the hospital with severe stomach pain that has had him doubled over off and on since yesterday morning. He thought it was getting better last night, but no. I'm worried, but glad he is now where someone can help him. (update: he just called, hooked up to an IV pumping fluids, oh-so-annoyed, and apparently the victim of food poisoning)

And then there's Hannah, passed out on the couch cuz she had another late-night puke-fest. These awful nights are coming more and more frequently lately and she seems to be in more pain than ever when they do come. Seriously? It's getting really old, really fast. Someone needs to help me figure out how to help her; it made me wanna cry last night. WAAAAHHHHH! (I only get to do that here, so sorry if I get a little repetitive!) Not that I can't handle this, I can, I just don't have the medical knowledge to nail down the cause of it all. Her blood tests came back negative for blood sugar problems (ie., childhood diabetes) so that's not the cause. Maybe when Cohen's blood test results come back, we'll have an answer for Hannah too (if it's genetic). But we're waiting for a sleep study now to rule out (or not) sleep apnea. It's amazing how many children are having trouble sleeping at night in this neck o' the woods - seems like just about every parent I talk to is struggling with sleep issues with their little ones and is waiting for a sleep study or a doctor appointment. I joked that it must be contagious (lack of sleep) but no one really finds it that humorous - go figure! Hey, I gotta laugh about it or else... ;)

We took Cohen in to get blood drawn for chromosome testing on Friday - finally! Only two weeks late! He was not happy - especially when they took his thumb away (which, I might add, he is becoming really dependent on again - what is going on???) They say 2-3 weeks for results. If you happen to be a medical doc and are reading this, I would LOVE suggestions - not to mention a little FREE advice. Oh, yeah... the medical bills are STACKIN UP AGAIN. Just when ya think you're headin' for good times, the bad ones come along and knock you off your feet. What's that saying... in for a bumpy ride? That's us all right. Note to God: When, oh when, are you gonna fix those soul-jarring ruts in the road? Isn't that your department? Ha! Keep the faith, right?

Finally, Jenna and I colored together for a little while this snorring (hehe - wishful thinking!) -- or rather, I colored while she doodled and watched her reflection in the window doodling ;)...and it was really nice. But I couldn't help wondering...she's left handed, or seems to be, at least. Her dad's left-handed. The neurologist says her brain activity spikes on the right side, which would explain why her right side is weak and her left side is stronger, right? Well, would she have been left handed if she hadn't suffered brain trauma? Not that anyone can really answer this and not that it really matters, but sometimes thoughts like that pop into my head, even though I know better than to think them! Like, would she have been a dancer? An artist? A swimmer? A singer? (although, I can tell you, judging by her very loud, very off-key attempts to scream/sing, I think I already know the answer to that one!) Would I be going to cheerleading or softball or swim team practice right now? Or getting ready for a dance recital, buying costumes and such? :( I think lack of sleep is making me a drama queen and lucky you get to read about it! Anyways, regardless of which hand she prefers or what her strengths and weaknesses are, I love her so much.

My beautiful little lefty :)

So anyways, much more to tell, but I gotta get those pictures on here first! I promise my next post will be funny or uplifting. Stay tuned as the drama unfolds... ;) Sorry if I'm rambling-- and again, I really, really, wish I liked coffee!!!

TIMBER!

2007-05-08T18:10:00.000-06:00

Two nights ago my husband walked Hannah into the bedroom and turned on a twenty-minute movie in anticipation of bedtime. He walked back out and two minutes later we hear this loud, horrifying, heart-stopping CRASH!

I took off running a split second before I heard her scream. I'll never forget the first impression I got. She was lying face-down on the floor with a very tall, very heavy chest of drawers on her back. Her chin dug into the floor as she fought to look up at me with her tear-streaked eyes, pleading for help. I grabbed the top corner of the dresser and tried to lift, but it was no use: the more I pulled back, the more the drawers fell out. I yelled for Craig, who was really right behind me all along, but time sslllooowwweddd to a virtual stop, so he might as well have been on another planet or swimming upstream in a raging river.

I was terrified, thinking broken bones, cracked ribs, internal bleeding...well, you know how it is. It usually always looks worse than it actually is.

You can imagine my relief when Craig and I got that offending pile of solid wood off my poor, freaked-out kid. I grabbed her up in my arms - yeah, thank goodness there was no internal bleeding, right? - and covered her in kisses. Other than a curved, scarlet scratch stretching down her back, she was fine and dancing around - pain-free - ten minutes later. Could have been much worse, I know, but her ingenious little plan (!) to transform the dresser into a ladder helped - at least the drawers were open to break its fall.

I can't help thanking GOD for my husband. For the fact that he was there and able to help. I couldn't have done it alone, that's for sure.

But this scare got me thinking about how hectic our lives have become, about how we've been "hit" with multiple different issues lately, mainly health-related, that have caused us to pool our strength together and fight back!!! Just as I needed Craig to help me lift the dresser for Hannah, I need him to help me lift the weight of everything off our shoulders when the drawers won't stop falling on us and we're already down.

This brings me to the latest tag, you're it thingy... what five things do I love about my husband and in what five ways do I want to be a good/better wife? This is perfect timing. I think my marriage needs a pick-me-up, mainly because our kids get all of the attention lately! WAAAHHH!

So here goes:

1. I love my husband's stay-the-fight attitude. He's in it for the long haul and in his mind, there's no backing down - even when the going gets tough. We've had a lot of bumps in the road lately that neither of us anticipated and we're making it through them, together. I love the fact that he would never think to leave or cop out because he can't handle the stress. Hello?! He knows how devastating that would be to his family, to his wife - whom he loves very much ;) In my heart I know a lesser man would have walked by now. And that's the truth. I'm so grateful for his devotion, for his commitment to his family! He's a loving father, a supportive husband and we're so lucky to have him. When Jenna wakes up in the wee hours of the morning, it's DADDY!!! she calls for. When Hannah wants to run around and get a little rowdy, Daddy's up for the challenge. And Cohen... well, I can see many father-son memories ahead.

2. My hubby is all about taking care of his family. He knows he has a job to do and he does it because he wants to. His desire to shelter and protect his family drives him, lights a fire under his bootie and motivates him like nothing else would! He's willing to work multiple jobs and long hours if he has to in order to reach our financial goals without going under as the medical bills drop from the sky like rain! He has big ideas for the future and I love that he is striving for something more than the everyday mundane. Paychecks aren't enough; living a life debt-free and full of investment return is our ultimate goal. Ultimately, we'd love to live somewhere relaxing because, hey, if we have to be stuck at home a lot, we might as well live where we can enjoy the view! So as long as he continues to dream big dreams, I continue to hope big hopes! :) HA!

3. My husband and I always joke that we're turning into nearly the same people. Note: I said nearly, not the same! We're able to talk about life and people together and share many of the same views. I know when I'm out somewhere and someone does something that totally bugs or offends me I can go home and share it with someone who will understand where I'm coming from. He hears things that I can't talk about with anybody else. He is my confidante. My partner and my supporter.

4. I like how comfortable I am in his presence. He makes me feel safe and secure and I can't imagine feeling that way without him in my life. He tries to understand me as much as possible and is willing to meet me half way on things. And he's always able to admit when he's wrong, even when he may be caving in to appease me a little :) In addition, he's always loved me for me, without requiring that I maintain a certain appearance or act a certain way - purely unconditional. When I was pregnant with my first baby I swelled. Very, very badly. I'm talking nearly unrecognizable. I remember one particular day I was really uncomfortable and depressed. I couldn't wear any shoes, and my socks wouldn't even squeeze over my swollen purple walking stumps! On that day, we went out to lunch together and before we got out of the car, Craig leaned over for a kiss. I started to cry. "Why do you still want to kiss me?" I asked. "Because I love you, silly." That was it. That simple.

5. I love, love, love how smart he is. Seriously, we used to watch Who Wants to be a Millionaire? and Craig would make it all the way to the top with lifelines still intact. He has this uncanny ability to remember stuff he learned in high school. Who does that at 30?! This knowledge carries over into all areas of life: home, school and work. At work, Craig jumps right in and learns whatever it is that he doesn't already know. He strives to be valuable, and he's so good at it that he climbed the professional ladder within his career field in what I think of as record time. This also comes in handy when I have a question about something - as long as it doesn't have to do with autos or major home repairs, although if he really wanted to learn that too, I know he could and would! (Love ya, honey!) - and it's great to have a personal human almanac along for this crazy ride through life.

Now as for me and my goals as a wife, I guess this is something I should think about more often, but here goes my list:

1. When the storms get turbulent, I want to find a better way to weather them. Sometimes I get a bit cranky when multiple things are going on at once and my lucky husband has to deal with my frustration. I guess I think he should be reading my mind and anticipate what I need!!! Unfair, I know, and I gotta work on that! I need to provide more structure at home, more organization for my family. With all the craziness, it's challenging to provide regularity, but this is a major goal for me. I know my hubby would love it. I want to make our home a sanctuary for us; the more organized we become, the easier our jobs will be as parents - and we could both benefit from that!

2. We need some more romance up in here! I guess this happens a lot when you have a large family, but it doesn't have to. Right? We need to spend more time on us and I need to do my part. Maybe more little surprises, a few love notes, some pick-me-ups when he needs it. And many more "I Love You"s to get us through... Oh, and we DESPERATELY need date nights! With just us. We never get those anymore. When you have a child with special needs (make that 2 now), childcare becomes more challenging. I want my kids to feel comfortable, special and loved by whoever comes into our home and that takes time and patience to find the right person. It's a bit more difficult since we've moved away from everyone, but we'll figure it out. We do have someone now who helps out occasionally and I'm loving that! Need to take more advantage of it, in fact. We did go see Spider-Man the other day and it was sooooooo nice! Totally relaxing - except when it was running late and I knew I needed to feed baby. We rushed home, but felt recharged nonetheless.

3. I need to be more supportive of his work. I know I said how proud I was of him earlier, but sometimes I get a little bitter. I start to feel lonely because I'm alone at home dealing with everything while he gets interaction... ADULT interaction. I miss that! And living out here has proved challenging for me. Cultivating new relationships takes effort and sometimes it's easier to hibernate at home. I know he would love to get out more with me and that would totally solve the issue. So what am I complaining about, anyways? I got the best job in the world - raising my kids.

4. I need to gather more strength from faith and God, and maintain a positive outlook on life. The stronger I am, the stronger my marriage will be. I want my husband to have confidence in me no matter what.

5. I want to find more humor in life, and in our marriage. This blog helps cuz I laugh at my own jokes and that makes me happy... and a dork! ;) But there's nothing better than laughter to help you through the day... and a marriage. We need that. Nothing has to be as gloomy as it seems unless you let it. Humor lets in the light and allows us to smile and to dream. Plus, if I'm happy, he's happy and vice versa. Gotta love laughter!

My husband and I just celebrated (well, in our heads and hearts, at least!) our NINTH wedding anniversary. Despite everything we've been through, we're still going, outliving many crumbling marriages around us. I don't know how we got here, but I do know that as long as we continue to work on our marriage we're destined for great things, together. As we should be.

Well, that's it! I am supposed to forward this along, but I don't have a lot of active blogger friends. I really started this blog to keep family and friends up to date on our lives out here, so I guess I'm a blog-nerd! Oh, well. I'll just enjoy reading all of your posts...

Till later!

Unsinkable Ships

2007-04-29T18:41:00.000-06:00

Okay. First things first. Everyone is doing really well now. Cohen has slept through the night for the last THREE NIGHTS - HOORAY! He is being fed through his pump - fill 'er up! - all night long. He whimpers every once in a while, but goes back to sleep - sans screaming fit. The first night I thought it might be a fluke. The next night I was wishful thinking. Now, I'm convinced this might actually become a regular occurrence. So exciting! So yes, getting the tube "installed" was difficult, the hospital stay was no fun, but now that the tube's in place, he's become a different baby. It's like somebody flipped a switch and now he's back on: talking and relying on his thumb A LOT less (which could be why he's talking more) and moving his arms and legs more. So good to see! Now if we can only figure out why oh why he won't eat through his mouth... The beginning of next week we go in for chromosome testing to rule out any genetic syndromes. I will keep you posted!

Jenna and Hannah are doing well also. Hannah is so funny. She knows Cohen likes to pull hair so she leans down and actually offers a handful to him! She even smiles while he's yanking! Now that takes LOVE! :) Jenna is doing well at school, and she's almost done for the year. We just got her school pictures back yesterday and they are so cute. They caught her smiling, which took skills, I'm sure, cuz it's been difficult to catch those pearly whites on film lately. Usually, when you ask her to smile and say cheese!, she looks at you like you've lost your mind. And she almost always has her mouth hanging open the moment you snap the picture. We'll have to work on that! :)

Now onto something else...

I was tagged a while ago. I'm super late responding. I've been a heel about participating in the fun, so I figured better late than never. This one had to do with listing what I consider good songs. Hmmm... well, I have several different categories that I could draw from. I like a little bit of just about everything. Does that make me wishy-washy? Well, if it does, so be it! There's something somewhat... well... personal about sharing the music you love with people. Or maybe it's just me?

First, let me preface this with some background info. I grew up dancing. My mom owned a dance studio and I spent seemingly endless hours dancing around in front of a wall-to-wall mirror with music cranked up much louder than it could ever be at home. Or in the car. At least, not without blowing speakers, that is. I still enjoy music you can dance to, but unfortunately that kind of music is not particularly known for its meaningful messages, if you know what I mean! Some people like listening to quality instrumentals; well, I wouldn't really know the first thing about that, but I do know about music that speaks to me.

Honestly, my faith has been tested a lot in the past few years; ironically, it's one of the only things that gets me through. Probably the primary thing...or should be, at least. For this reason, I like listening to songs that remind me to dream and to remember I'm not alone in this crazy world. So, 'nuff said. Here's my list in no particular order:

Fireflies by Faith Hill. This song is all about dreaming little dreams, and remembering the magic of childhood and imagination. Nothing has to be what it seems; it only has the meaning we give to it. The cool thing about this song? The songwriter was a housewife and sahm who wrote music in her spare time. She dreamed and cultivated her talent from the privacy of her own home, and her dream is now transformed into a song that millions of people know and are inspired by... including me. So, ladies, keep doing whatever it is that you do best, even if it is done while sitting in a mound of toys on your living room floor, or between loads of laundry that just won't stop, or at the soccer field while you're waiting for your little athlete to finish up practice! You never know what could happen.
Do It Anyway by Martina McBride. Another song about dreaming, about going for it and not giving up when the going gets tough, even if it all seems impossible. It's about reaching for that goal even if it seems as though you can never possibly get there. God is great, but sometimes life ain't good...
If Everyone Cared by Nickelback. I like the rough, rocker feeling of this song. It's a song you can yell to (ummm, in private maybe?) and it feels darn good to yell out something you believe in! It's about living life in a positive way. If everyone cared... then nobody'd die. Swallow your pride... love and not lie. All good messages. Hey, I don't get to rock out often and feel good about saying the lyrics! Maybe I'm a closet rock star?! Did I miss my calling? Have ya heard me sing? HAHA! :) "Singin' A-Amen, I'm ALIVE!"
Jesus Take the Wheel by Carrie Underwood. You've been reading my blog, right? Well, this song is basically my anthem! Although I still fight like crazy to drive my own route, this song reminds me that I'm not experienced enough, or knowledgeable enough, to go it alone.
I Can Only Imagine by Mercy Me, about meeting the maker, the ultimate dream. A very catchy melody, and it makes you think. What would you do if you were face-to-face with God? How would you react? My hubby loves this song, and he loves singing to it too! Maybe he missed his calling as well?! :)
Anything on this CD. I know there are great versions of these worship songs, and multiple people sing them, but I don't know who sings them best. I only know that they are awesome when they are sung in church and the entire congregation is singing them together. Here I Am To Worship almost always makes me cry. I'm not sure why this particular song does that to me. I guess it has to do with becoming fully submissive and bowing down to something greater than you are. Humility. I remember one particular Sunday morning we sang this song in church after Jenna had been in the hospital and I cried buckets. It was cleansing in a way; a much-needed release after a huge amount of pent-up tension and a reminder that we weren't alone, that even though I was powerless to stop the pain and confusion Jenna suffered at the time, He was there with her. Amazing Love is another moving song about the ultimate love and sacrifice of Christ.

So that's it. My list. Or rather, my inspirational category list. I have other favorites, other categories. Like a dance category - I'll admit I listen to some hip-hop, mostly for the beat. Also some alternative rock, like Boston by Augustana or How to Save a Life by the Frey. Oh, and country - YES country - already proof of that in my list above. Just heard a song last night that I really like: The Impossible, by Joe Nichols.

Goes like this:

My dad chased monsters from the dark He checked underneath my bed An he could lift me with one arm Way up over top of his head He could loosen rusty bolts With a quick turn of his wrist He pulled splinters from his hand And never even flinched In thirteen years I'd never seen him cry But the day that grandpa died,I realized

Unsinkable ships sink Unbreakable walls break Sometimes the things you think could never happen Happens just like that Unbendable steel bends If the fury of the wind is unstoppable I've learned to never underestimate The impossible

And then there was my junior year Billy had a brand new car It was late,the road was wet I guess the curves was just too sharp I walked away without a scratch They brought the helicopter in And Billy couldn't feel his legs Said he'd never walk again But Billy said he would and his mom and daddy prayed And the day we graduated,he stood up to say:

So don't tell me that it's over Don't give up on you and me 'Cos there's no such thing as hopeless If you believe:

AIN'T THAT THE TRUTH?!

Then there's the ANCIENT category - HA! :) Like American Pie by Don McLean - it's amazing how one single song can chronicle the events of a time, kinda like We Didn't Start the Fire. Remember that song? And I almost forgot the musical category. Like West Side Story, Rent, Sunset Boulevard, Phantom of the Opera, 42nd Street, or the crude, but ingenious comedy, Urinetown (spoof of Our Town?). I also loved the soundtrack to Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights, before the Shakira song became popular - and the original version from the soundtrack is way better anyways! Something about the Cuban flavor and, again, the grooveability (just made that word up. I know, I know, cheesy!).

So, you wouldn't believe the variety of my playlist. Or maybe you would now that I gave you a glimpse!

Am I supposed to tag someone now? Oh, well. Everyone I would tag has been tagged already, since I'm SO DARN LATE responding!

Till later!